How are you? Hope you had or are having a good day, today?
In this summer when I had a night of family reunion with my mom, niece and nephew in Seoul, we had the last meal together before we said good-bye. My niece prayed, “Father, nothing is impossible with You. You can heal grandma’s dementia.” I knew it was her well-meaning prayer, but I smiled in my heart and said to myself, “Oh, dear, you wouldn’t know it’s a blessing in disguise!” and I really meant it.
Looking back at the past 4~5 years, I felt the Lord indeed allowed this season both for mom and for myself. To me, it was not always easy and there were certainly some moments when I felt I couldn’t contain myself anymore. Yet, He is always gracious and merciful so that I realized that He wants to mold my character through mom’s dementia. I’m not saying I’m being perfect now, and I still feel annoyed, when she wakes me up in the middle of the deep sleep, by turning on the light or turning the TV volume up. Yet I know I grew in love and patience. Not only that, I realized that the dementia made my mom rest. She used to live a busy life, managing her commercial property and her tenants until she was in her early 80’s. I would understand how hard it was to her. Now, with dementia, she is like a 5~6 years old kid. As her monologue to herself is so loud, many times I overhear her and get to know her thoughts and realize how happy she is. Many times, the sweetness in her monologues made me laugh. And she seems to enjoy her life without any concerns at all. If she were simply old without dementia, I’m pretty sure that she would continue to think and worry about her property and want everything under her control. But her dementia made her forget her burdens and rely on me in every small matter. I’m happy to see her happy daily and I’m grateful to the Lord that He grants her this precious time after she spent so many years of hardship. Our Father knows the best. And He is faithful to all of His children.
While this thought has been in my mind, I happened to read Pastor John Fenn’s newsletter posted in 2018 in The Church Without Walls International website. And his story simply spoke to me, in light of mom’s dementia. I would like to share part of his newsletter:
A lesson about a dump truck
A couple of weeks ago we had Chris home for his normal Friday/Saturday home visit from the group home.
On that Friday we had been running errands all day, and I was tired as was Chris and glad to be headed home. We were driving home along country roads that wind around the lake we live on. A big, fully loaded dump truck turned in front of us at a 4-way stop (it was his turn after all) and it was a diesel truck that needed a tune up – thick black smoke swirled over us as I slowed the car to a crawl, unable to pass along the narrow roads.
This went on for a couple miles/1.2 km, and Chris was excited about seeing a dump truck and talked constantly about it, about the smoke, how it stunk, about how it was loaded with something heavy, and so forth. (He runs a constant commentary on about any car, truck, plane or train he sees)
Soon, I saw my chance to pass
As I was about to poke the car out from behind the truck to sneak a peak to see if there was any oncoming traffic, I thought half to myself and half to the Father, “Father, I’d sure like to get around this guy if no one is coming my way in the other direction.”
And immediately, totally unexpected, I heard Him reply: “You may do that if you want, but then again, you might consider that maybe I ordered your steps to be behind it for Chris’ sake and enjoyment.” Instantly I replied as I pulled the car back to my side of the road and slowed, “Oh. Sorry Father, I hadn’t even thought about that”, and He simply said, “That’s okay.”
After a couple more miles we turned right and just after that turn the dump truck pulled over. Chris was excited, and we pulled beside him and I rolled down Chris’ window – the driver said he pulled over because he thought we would want to pass, but I explained that we wanted to be behind him, briefly explained about Chris, and he started up again with us trailing behind – it made Chris’ day.
That lesson, to slow down and consider the dump truck obstacle wasn’t for me, wasn’t missed by me. Not every delay is the devil, not every obstacle in life is the enemy. We have to look past the first assumption of what that obstacle is for, and think larger than ourselves to the Father’s larger work. It isn’t always about us, sometimes it’s about others. And it is the Father at work, not the devil.
Sometimes the Father lets us know we can do what we had in mind for our time frame and agenda. But if we did, we’d miss a larger blessing. Consider asking Him if that ‘dump truck’ causing you to slow down, might not be about you and your schedule and your list of things to do after all, but for someone else’s need or purpose, and He just needs your cooperation to allow Him to work.
After I wrote down the draft of this blog with this newsletter, I received the latest weekly word from Rick Joyner, Follow The King, Part 11 and felt the Lord gives me the consistent message:
Last year I had an extraordinary encounter with the Lord which lasted three days. One purpose for this encounter was for me to see the degree of my impatience, impetuousness, and stubbornness. Many times these have caused me to miss something God had for me or wanted me to do. I was shocked to learn how many times I had missed God’s purposes, opportunities, or assignments for my life. So many divine connections I needed and miracles I would have seen. I was also told I could not be trusted with the authority the Lord wanted to give me until I dealt with these three major strongholds.
When I compared myself to others, I thought I was doing better even with these flaws, and I may have been, but I am not the standard. The Apostle Paul wrote that we are without understanding when we compare ourselves to others (see II Corinthians 10:12).
I asked the Lord to help me with these problems, and He has been most faithful. Discipline to grow in patience has been a daily lesson.
… If you are also constantly beset with obstacles and things that force you to slow down, instead of cursing the devil, you may want to find out who’s really behind this and embrace the discipline. Remember, He disciplines those He loves (see Hebrews 12:6). Don’t waste your trials, especially the ones that challenge your patience.
I do not know whether you have experienced seeming obstacles or that dump truck in your life. Perhaps you might have prayed to Him that He would take those obstacles, not knowing you are standing in His way. I pray that you and I understand our Father’s heart and see those obstacles as He sees them, in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:7~11)
How are you? I’m well.
Have you ever thought that you might stand in God’s way? It sounds dreadful, but I think we might make a mistake to stand in His way, if we don’t listen to and obey Him. Today, I would like to share one of my recent episodes.
I’ve been willing to give offerings to the Lord and to help others. Looking back at my experiences of giving, though, I see not all of my giving was out of a pure heart. Some of them were out of fear and/or out of being manipulated. I realized that even Christians used manipulation, no matter whether they are ministers or not. As I got to learn about the witchcraft, the spirit of control that includes manipulation, I think I now became more cautious in giving; not to give out of fear or manipulated by others.
In August this year, I had some money that I was pondering on to whom I should give. I asked the Lord about this and I literally said to Him, “Father, I don’t want to be manipulated any more. So, please direct me to whom I should give offerings.” When it comes to manipulation, I set my heart not to give to those who ask me money literally, but to give without knowing their needs, but being prompted by the Holy Spirit. Interestingly enough, in a day or two after that prayer, I got a missed call and a text message from a missionary in a foreign country. I gave offerings to her twice out of a pure heart in the past, and I knew she is a self-funding missionary. She left a message to me, saying she called me, but I might not recognize her new number. But I already knew and saved her new number, when she let me know a few months ago. So, I texted her and asked her how she was doing, while I was sitting next to mom in an orthopedic clinic for her regular therapy. Then, the missionary texted me, simply saying that she called me for fund-raising her next discipleship training that she would lead soon. That’s all that she said. She didn’t ask me how my mom and I were doing. I felt so sorry, as I felt she just called me for money, not for friendship. Actually, when I shared the update on mom’s status at her new number, after mom was admitted to hospitals twice, she never replied back to me for the past few months. And after breaking the silence, she just talked about her fund-raising. (It made me understand how our Heavenly Father would feel when His children come to Him with their agendas only.) I had an impression that she was surprised and moved by my giving in the past, as I transferred the money voluntarily, even using the international banking transfer. Since the last year, though, I had a little bit of doubt as to whether she was on the right track on her faith, after getting some texts from her. Now, I got her missed call and a simple text message on her fund-raising, soon after I asked the Lord about giving and saying to Him that I do not want to give, being manipulated. I felt as if the Lord put me in that situation, to see how I would react. In the past, I would have said, “Sure, I would definitely help you.” perhaps out of compassion or out of fear. But now I realized that if God wants to send her to the discipleship training to lead others, He would make it happen, without my giving money to her. I would rather move, listening to His voice. I asked Him a few times to let me know, if He wants me to give her money. In the meantime, I replied to her that I would pray for His provision to her, even if it’s not through me. And I said to her I would hear His voice and obey Him on offering. And I prayed His will be done for her discipleship training. And I finally offered money to some other ministries and some other ministers out of a cheerful heart. It was not a matter of money, but I felt it was about obeying His voice. I felt in my heart that if I would help her now, I would let her seek people including me, not seek Him for financial provision. I felt our Father intended to teach her as well as me and I would take the opportunity for learning from her, if I would give her money. And, I believe every believer should rely on our Heavenly Father only, just like George Mueller did. And I also believe that if our friendship is truly based on the love of our Father, we would continue to be friends no matter whether I help her this time or not.
Then, just a few days ago, I happened to read Pastor John Fenn’s words posted back in 2014, Fear & Stupid Decisions (#3 Family/Money) in The Church Without Walls International website. It really spoke to me, and I’d like to share part of it, hoping it would also help you now and in the future.
Let us use the example of someone you’ve opened your home to for a season – an adult child, sibling, friend, or anyone else you are opening your home to. Let us say they are into various sins – maybe drugs, wrong relationships, and little work.
The fear is what will happen to them if you don’t provide for them? They’d be on the street. They’d be in a shelter somewhere? But Lord, what to do about them? If I kick them out it will be my fault if they die, but I can’t afford to have them here and they disrupt my life.
The fact is however, we parents raise our children to become self-sufficient. Any person able of body and mind should be taking care of themselves. There is a time and place to receive someone in your home to help them get on their feet – don’t get me wrong – but Jesus did say only give 1 extra coat, not your whole closet, and to walk just 1 extra mile, not a marathon with them.
If you obey fear some will bring themselves to financial and emotional hurt by not making them grow up. If they aren’t paying their own way after you’ve walked that extra mile and given them that 1 extra coat, then you switch from the giver of grace to the enabler of sin, by enabling their dependence on you instead of God.
Masked in Christian ‘love’, you may be actually keeping that person from growing up as a person and a person in the Lord. As I said last week, usually when we are comfortable there isn’t a lot of growth, and when we grow there often isn’t a lot of comfort. Sometimes you have to ignore the fears and make them uncomfortable so they will grow – and tell a person who you’ve walked that extra mile with them and given them the shirt off your back, and now it is time for them to walk on their own and earn their own clothes.
The answer is to go through fear – and let – maybe ‘make’ is a better word – that person stand on their own 2 feet. At the very least they can pay their proportion of the rent, utilities, and their own gas money while with you – make a plan, hold them to it. Something like ‘By week 2 you will have a job, by week 4 you will have your first paycheck and I get 1/2 to reimburse me for your room and board.
Yes, you may have to help them until they get paid – but if after awhile they either don’t have a job or aren’t up and out of the house by 8am treating finding a job as if that were a job, and not coming home from filling out applications until after 5pm each night, you have to draw the line.
Fear will use you – a demon of fear will use you – to keep them babies, dependent and immature. Going through the fear to stop enabling laziness or addictions is hard, you feel horrible, but it must be done.
You see, God gives us opportunities, but we have to decide to take them. Fear prevents us from presenting God’s opportunities for growth and provision to a person we are temporarily helping. You are actually standing in God’s way, fighting against Him the whole time, while wondering where His answer is. We are often both the answer and the problem.
I pray that you and I ask to give us His Wisdom and we present His opportunities for growth and provision, not standing in His way, in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
How are you? Hope you had or are having a good day, today?
On September 16th, this year, I happened to see Ana Werner’s video posted online and it was about a prophetic word for the new season, after the new year days in the Jewish calendar. I was interested in knowing what the Lord showed her, as she was known as a seer. Then, the video clip was quite long like more than 40 minutes and in the middle of her talk, she said that she also posted the words in her website. So, I googled her website and read the blog, which was a short version. Later at night, I wanted to read the words again so that I visited her website again. Then, I saw another blog on Prophetic Word for 2021. Though we were about to enter into the last quarter of 2021 at that time, I still wanted to know what the Lord had showed her for this year. To my amazement, I read she wrote about house churches and shared a series of 3 dreams. I felt it was such a confirmation from the Lord to me that this would be the direction in the future, as I wrote on this in my previous blogs. And I’m sharing the words she shared in her blog:
Dreams of the Glory Coming to House Churches
I had a series of 3 dreams, that all involved house churches. In these homes, I could see many people gathered and there was an organic feel to their hunger for Jesus. I saw many people meeting in groups around a table, discussing the Word of God. As well, worship happening in a different section of the house.. Also a group was meeting together and laughing as they shared in fellowship.
A few things that struck me the most was:
1) The glory of God was there. The Presence was so thick in this little house church.
2) There was such a beautiful, organic fellowship happening, that all centered around wanting to know and love Jesus more. As well, there was REAL FELLOWSHIP, REAL ACCOUNTABILITY, and REAL HUNGER and DESPERATION for JESUS.
After reading Ana’s words, I wrote down the draft of this blog, saying “I believe this would be the new wineskin for the new wine in a new season to come.” Then, on September 27th, I found two unread emails from Lana Vawser’s ministries. When I read the older email out of them, I stood amazed:
For this is the time where He is going to reunite families, He is going to heal families, He is going to bring His people to a deeper understanding and awakening to His nature as Father, a good Father and His love. We have been in a time in the earth where there people have been brought into their homes and the Lord has been doing a deep work in the home, but there is something even deeper still that the Lord is wanting to establish. In the last year or so the Lord has done a lot of cleansing and purging within homes, and He has begun to build within homes, but I felt strongly that right now the Lord is building the NEW WINESKIN within homes and we MUST pay attention. His new wine will flow and His weighty manifested presence will come like we have never seen before, but we must establish His parameters for the HOME that He is establishing. This is a new season of the Lord “establishing home” and if we are running ahead to quickly and not listening to the new strategies of the Lord for the home, if we are holding too tight to ‘what was’ or ‘what is comfortable’ we will miss what the Lord is saying and what He is wanting to do in the family unit and households.
HOMES THAT HOUSE HIS GLORY
I also heard the Lord say “PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR NEIGHBOURS”. For where the enemy has tried to keep division between neighbours, the Lord is going to move in power in neighbourhoods and signs, wonders and miracles will flow as His people walk in extravagant love and kindness.
The atmosphere was filled with the sense of anticipation “You haven’t seen anything yet”.
I then had a vision and I saw homes being “NETS” and these nets were bigger than I have EVER seen and immediately I knew in the spirit that there was a TIPPING POINT we have reached for an even greater “bringing in of the harvest”. It’s about to get bigger, it’s about to come in faster and with greater intensity than we have seen recently.
The urgency of the Lord was strong “Get your homes ready, get your houses ready, get your HOUSES IN ORDER like never before.”
I saw God’s people being established in the home season in such a deeper way than ever before, roots were going down deeper into the establishment of HOME. They were positioned and ready to ride the wave of His outpouring that will fill their home and flow from their home in such power to see a mighty harvest come in.
Lana’s words were so timely and confirming, as I also asked the Lord what I would share in my monthly meeting with my pastor in Singapore and others later on that day. I was reminded of what one of the pastors in the meeting shared last year, for himself and for the body of Christ; The new wine and the new wineskin. And he also shared the Scriptures from Philippians 3:13, “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” And I thought the things which are behind would be the traditional church setting that we are so familiar with and those things which are ahead would be the new birth of house churches on a global scale. Perhaps the revival that we were longing for would not be from the auditorium setting but from our homes and our neighborhoods when we walk in the extravagant love of our Father in our daily mundane life.
I believe some of us would continue to be part of the traditional church, if He wills. I think we all need to ask the Lord what He has in store for us in person. Even when we move to house church, I believe moving in His season is also important and I would share more on this later.
And Pastor John Fenn also encouraged house churches to attend local traditional churches or any gatherings together with house church members. I believe it’s not that we are against one another, but we have unity, no matter what church settings we are in. I believe we also honor what the Lord used for the past seasons. Friend, I pray that each one of us may listen to His voice and move in His perfect will and perfect timing, no matter what, in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
“Forget about what’s happened;
How are you? I’m well.
Are you a prepper?
As I still long for farming in the future, I enjoy watching some videos on farming, before going to bed, though not daily. Then, I happened to find out there are many so-called preppers. Some seem to be Christians and they move to the country, to farm and be sufficient from homesteading. Others who don’t seem to be Christians still choose to live simply, live off-the-grid and enjoy nature and health. (Some are maybe from financial reasons, too.) Among Christian preppers, some seemed to start to live off-the-grid very long ago, and they showed how to wash their clothes, using the old tools. Like I wrote in the previous blog, The Spirit of Fear, I used to believe mid or post-Trib rapture, and I thought living off-the-grid someday in the future might be necessary. Yet, on the other hand, I thought to myself, “What if those preppers found out they didn’t really have to live off-the-grid for so many years, by being raptured or simply dying anytime soon before the Tribulation?”
These days, I do think being sensitive to the Holy Spirit is absolutely important. I would like to share one of my episodes last year. A Christian friend of mine encouraged me to hoard some foods, after she heard a prophecy. And I appreciated her sharing it, as she cares for me. I also encouraged another friend of mine to pray over it and hoard the foods, if she is led to do so. Thinking back of that time, I think I actually hoarded the foods out of fear, not from the Holy Spirit’s guidance. So, I hoarded so many bags of rice in the closet. I planned to share them with the needy so that the number of bags I stored was way higher than the yearly consumption of my mom and me. Maybe 6~9 months after I started to store the rice, I found out black little bugs in one rice bag. I was afraid that the rest of the rice bags would have the bugs, too. So, I shared my story with a self-funding missionary for North Korea and asked her whether she would mind taking the rice from me. I didn’t really want to share the rice with the bugs at all, but my good intention didn’t come out perfect, due to the bugs. As the missionary knew my heart and she also had about 8 family members including her daughter and grandchildren from Canada at that time, she said their rice consumption was unbelievable. Thankfully, her family said that the bugs are a great source of protein! Yet, I regretted in a sense that I could have rather shipped the fresh rice bags to her every month than hoarded them for months in my closet for long. Since then, I stopped hoarding rice in my place, but started to send a fresh rice bag to a school in Seoul for North-Korean refugees. I acknowledge that I was not successful in listening to the Holy Spirit correctly, yet He made all things work together for good at the end of the day. (Like in my previous blog, Praying the Scriptures, He used the rice bags in the closet in teaching me on the Scripture I asked Him. And He still satisfied the need of the missionary’s family.) Yet, I think it’s important to be in His perfect will and in His perfect timing. For some people in some countries, the prophecy would have been true. But at least for me, I didn’t have to hoard the foods at that time. Or the prophecy might not be for the year 2020, but this year or next year.
So, looking back at my mistake and thinking of the preppers and some end-time prophecies, I think that each one of us should listen to the Holy Spirit. If I heard Him tell me to prepare for living off-the-grid, I should do that. But, if it’s simply out of fear or out of random prophecy here and there, I think there could be some waste of time, efforts and so on. I believe some prophets really saw the dooms to come, but I think that even those true visions and dreams might show the times to come after the Rapture. Apostle John saw the dooms to come and recorded them in the book of Revelation, but they didn’t happen in his time. Yet, the Lord had a purpose to show things to him and let him write them down. Likewise, even when the true prophets or seers heard or saw what would come, I think it would not necessarily happen to me in my lifetime on earth. Some prophecies would happen to the undecisive or the unbelievers who remain on the earth, after the Rapture. As there would be still those who come out of the Tribulation, there would be some people who choose to believe in Christ during the Great Tribulation, in addition to all the Jews who would be saved at the end. So, the purpose of those visions or dreams could be for those who would be still on earth and later read the articles or watch the videos or whatsoever. I do not know which prophecies would really come to pass during my time, but I believe that the Holy Spirit would let me know in person, if I should prepare for something.
Thinking back all the thoughts in my mind related to the end time prophecies here and there and many views on the rapture, I began to realize that I was under the spirit of fear, though I wanted to fulfill my destiny, helping people believe the Lord, and supporting them. Now, I realize that my focus should be whether I’m really ready and prepared to see the Lord even tonight! If I hold any grudges against someone, I must reconcile with him or her and forgive or ask forgiveness. And there should be no ulterior motive between Jesus and me, as the relationship between Bridegroom and Bride. Preparing spiritually is way more important than preparing in finance, and other material and physical stuffs. I realize that the focus on the Great Tribulation out of the fear distracted me from focusing on Jesus and living holy right at this moment. And I’m grateful to the Lord, as He led me into the right path.
Speaking of this, I was simply reminded of the dream I had on September 3rd this year. I dwelled on the dream for a while, trying to interpret it. In the dream, I saw a pretty lady looking like Marilyn Monroe, though she was not. And she wore kind of a bling-bling long black dress. And I think she had kind of a mantle which was orange color. While she was walking, her dress on the shoulder part almost dropped as if the seam came apart. So, I was surprised. But she was able to hold the upper part of her dress on her shoulder, so it was ok. She held an umbrella in her hand toward the sky and sang the song, “Singing in the rain.”
When I woke up, I wondered what the dream meant. The song “Singing in the rain” was so clear in my memory. And I even googled the lyric of the song, to try to understand what the Lord wants to say to me:
I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feeling
I'm happy again.
I'm laughing at clouds.
So dark up above,
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love.
Let the stormy clouds chase.
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Singing in the rain
Dancing in the rain
La ri la la ri la,
I'm happy again
I'm singin' and dancing in the rain
I'm dancing and singin' in the rain
I had an impression that the rain would be some kind of trouble, but we, His children will still sing and dance in the rain. Then, the orange color of her mantle remained so vivid to my memory. I seldom saw orange color in my dreams. When I looked up James Goll’s book, I was surprised to read:
“ORANGE - Danger, great jeopardy, harm; a common color combination is orange and black, which usually signifies great evil or danger; bright or fire orange can be power, force, energy.”
So, I guessed the lady’s black dress together with the orange mantle might signify great evil or danger to come. The umbrella she held meant a lot, related to the episode I shared in my previous blog, God Is Our Refuge and Strength. So, I interpret the song gives us assurance even when we have upheaval or even the Great Tribulation.
I pray that you and I get ready and prepared to meet our Lord, our Bridegroom at any moment, even tonight, and we live holy and walk in His love, and we become true preppers, in Jesus’ name. I do believe there would be more shakings to come, but we don’t fear, but have peace and move in His perfect timing, listening to His voice. He abides in us and we abide in Him.
Have a bliss!
My child, never drift off course from these two goals for your life: