How are you? Hope you had or are having a good day, today?
In this summer when I had a night of family reunion with my mom, niece and nephew in Seoul, we had the last meal together before we said good-bye. My niece prayed, “Father, nothing is impossible with You. You can heal grandma’s dementia.” I knew it was her well-meaning prayer, but I smiled in my heart and said to myself, “Oh, dear, you wouldn’t know it’s a blessing in disguise!” and I really meant it.
Looking back at the past 4~5 years, I felt the Lord indeed allowed this season both for mom and for myself. To me, it was not always easy and there were certainly some moments when I felt I couldn’t contain myself anymore. Yet, He is always gracious and merciful so that I realized that He wants to mold my character through mom’s dementia. I’m not saying I’m being perfect now, and I still feel annoyed, when she wakes me up in the middle of the deep sleep, by turning on the light or turning the TV volume up. Yet I know I grew in love and patience. Not only that, I realized that the dementia made my mom rest. She used to live a busy life, managing her commercial property and her tenants until she was in her early 80’s. I would understand how hard it was to her. Now, with dementia, she is like a 5~6 years old kid. As her monologue to herself is so loud, many times I overhear her and get to know her thoughts and realize how happy she is. Many times, the sweetness in her monologues made me laugh. And she seems to enjoy her life without any concerns at all. If she were simply old without dementia, I’m pretty sure that she would continue to think and worry about her property and want everything under her control. But her dementia made her forget her burdens and rely on me in every small matter. I’m happy to see her happy daily and I’m grateful to the Lord that He grants her this precious time after she spent so many years of hardship. Our Father knows the best. And He is faithful to all of His children.
While this thought has been in my mind, I happened to read Pastor John Fenn’s newsletter posted in 2018 in The Church Without Walls International website. And his story simply spoke to me, in light of mom’s dementia. I would like to share part of his newsletter:
A lesson about a dump truck
A couple of weeks ago we had Chris home for his normal Friday/Saturday home visit from the group home.
On that Friday we had been running errands all day, and I was tired as was Chris and glad to be headed home. We were driving home along country roads that wind around the lake we live on. A big, fully loaded dump truck turned in front of us at a 4-way stop (it was his turn after all) and it was a diesel truck that needed a tune up – thick black smoke swirled over us as I slowed the car to a crawl, unable to pass along the narrow roads.
This went on for a couple miles/1.2 km, and Chris was excited about seeing a dump truck and talked constantly about it, about the smoke, how it stunk, about how it was loaded with something heavy, and so forth. (He runs a constant commentary on about any car, truck, plane or train he sees)
Soon, I saw my chance to pass
As I was about to poke the car out from behind the truck to sneak a peak to see if there was any oncoming traffic, I thought half to myself and half to the Father, “Father, I’d sure like to get around this guy if no one is coming my way in the other direction.”
And immediately, totally unexpected, I heard Him reply: “You may do that if you want, but then again, you might consider that maybe I ordered your steps to be behind it for Chris’ sake and enjoyment.” Instantly I replied as I pulled the car back to my side of the road and slowed, “Oh. Sorry Father, I hadn’t even thought about that”, and He simply said, “That’s okay.”
After a couple more miles we turned right and just after that turn the dump truck pulled over. Chris was excited, and we pulled beside him and I rolled down Chris’ window – the driver said he pulled over because he thought we would want to pass, but I explained that we wanted to be behind him, briefly explained about Chris, and he started up again with us trailing behind – it made Chris’ day.
That lesson, to slow down and consider the dump truck obstacle wasn’t for me, wasn’t missed by me. Not every delay is the devil, not every obstacle in life is the enemy. We have to look past the first assumption of what that obstacle is for, and think larger than ourselves to the Father’s larger work. It isn’t always about us, sometimes it’s about others. And it is the Father at work, not the devil.
Sometimes the Father lets us know we can do what we had in mind for our time frame and agenda. But if we did, we’d miss a larger blessing. Consider asking Him if that ‘dump truck’ causing you to slow down, might not be about you and your schedule and your list of things to do after all, but for someone else’s need or purpose, and He just needs your cooperation to allow Him to work.
After I wrote down the draft of this blog with this newsletter, I received the latest weekly word from Rick Joyner, Follow The King, Part 11 and felt the Lord gives me the consistent message:
Last year I had an extraordinary encounter with the Lord which lasted three days. One purpose for this encounter was for me to see the degree of my impatience, impetuousness, and stubbornness. Many times these have caused me to miss something God had for me or wanted me to do. I was shocked to learn how many times I had missed God’s purposes, opportunities, or assignments for my life. So many divine connections I needed and miracles I would have seen. I was also told I could not be trusted with the authority the Lord wanted to give me until I dealt with these three major strongholds.
When I compared myself to others, I thought I was doing better even with these flaws, and I may have been, but I am not the standard. The Apostle Paul wrote that we are without understanding when we compare ourselves to others (see II Corinthians 10:12).
I asked the Lord to help me with these problems, and He has been most faithful. Discipline to grow in patience has been a daily lesson.
… If you are also constantly beset with obstacles and things that force you to slow down, instead of cursing the devil, you may want to find out who’s really behind this and embrace the discipline. Remember, He disciplines those He loves (see Hebrews 12:6). Don’t waste your trials, especially the ones that challenge your patience.
I do not know whether you have experienced seeming obstacles or that dump truck in your life. Perhaps you might have prayed to Him that He would take those obstacles, not knowing you are standing in His way. I pray that you and I understand our Father’s heart and see those obstacles as He sees them, in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:7~11)
How are you? Hope you had or are having a good day today?
On August 11th, 2021, I got up before 6am in the morning. It was so hard for me to get up early in the morning for the past few months, especially after my mom had to be admitted to the hospital twice in May and her dementia got worse. Yet, our Heavenly Father is always gracious and merciful. My mom’s dementia got a little better and she didn’t really disturb my sleep much at night. Graciously enough, I resumed downloading the dreams that I think were from the Lord, though not daily. And I really wanted to get up early in the morning to take a walk for an hour so that I asked the Lord to wake me up early in the morning, sharing my desire. To my amazement, I felt the Lord really nudged me and I was wide-awake even before my alarm rang. So, I was able to go out for a walk these days. In the beginning, I tried to take a walk as working-out, but it was hot and humid even in the early morning. Then, I thought I would rather take a seat in the table in a nearby museum to read the Words, praise Him and pray. And it turned out to be my best hour of the day! I really enjoyed my time alone with the Lord for about 1 and 1/2 hours under the shade at the table. Every evening, I asked the Father to wake me up in the next morning and He did it faithfully.
So, in the morning on August 11th, I was enjoying reading His Words in my journal that I wrote down from the Bible a few months ago and singing worship songs with prayers. Then, on my mobile phone, the worship song, “What kind of greatness” written by Graham Kendrick was played out. I got to know this song only recently like the last Christmas, and I liked the song and downloaded it into my mobile phone. Then, when I heard the song again that morning in quite a while, I sang along, reading the lyrics. Suddenly, all the lyrics just hit me, and I couldn’t stop my tears. And I thanked Him, as I changed my bag to a bigger one on that day, which had enough Kleenex in it.
“What kind of greatness can this be
That chose to be made small?
Exchanging untold majesty
For a world so pitiful
That God should come as one of us
I'll never understand
The more I hear the story told
The more amazed I am
Oh what else can I do
But kneel and worship you
And come just as I am
My whole life an offering
The One in whom we live and move
In swaddling cloths lies bound
The voice that cried "let there be light"
Asleep without a sound
The One who strode among the stars
And called each one by name
Lies helpless in a mother's arms
And must learn to walk again
What greater love could he have shown
To shamed humanity
Yet human pride hates to believe
In such deep humility
But nations now may see his grace
And know that he is near
When his meek heart, his words, his works
Are incarnate in us here”
Even though I listened to this song and sang along a few times in the past, it was my first time that every single word in the lyrics touched my spirit to tears. I couldn’t really thank Jesus enough for His tremendous sacrifice for me.
Later in the day at home, I was reading the last chapter of a Flo Ellers’ book, “Activating the Angelic” and read a question, “Are You Willing to Die for Jesus?” I felt this is really difficult to answer, though I think I already answered the question long ago. The author Flo Ellers wrote:
When God asks you a question like that, you cannot answer Him quickly, mindlessly, or carelessly—for He will take you at your word. I prayed and contemplated the price that I would have to pay to live fully for Him. Some Christian teachers tell us that we do not have to pay a price because Jesus already paid the price. Oh really? He did pay the ultimate price, but He requires something of us if we want to go beyond the superficial and go deep in Him. This kind of Christianity is not for the fickle or capricious.
Ellers, Flo. Activating the Angelic: Keys to Releasing the Holy Spirit and Unlocking the Miraculous (p. 234). Destiny Image. Kindle Edition.
After finishing the last chapter of the book and before going to bed, I again said to the Father, “Father, I set my heart to die for Jesus and live for Jesus!” And in the next day, I was able to get up early in the morning and went to my precious place for the time with the Lord. Thinking of the song, “What kind of greatness” I listened to the other day, I replayed it on my mobile phone, reading the lyrics. Only then did I realize that Jesus didn’t die on the cross only, but He actually died when He agreed to be incarnated. He is God. Just like the lyrics of the song say, He is the One who created light! He is the Creator and Possessor of the universe. Yet, He chose to be born as a mere human being. Imagine that you, after living as a human being with some kind of dignity, chose to be born and live as a deer or a skunk, knowing your identity as a human being. What a great sacrifice it could be? But Jesus submitted to God, the Father and was born as a human being. His 33 years of life here on earth was the total death for us. His death was not just on the cross! Imagine that our Creator could have said to Joseph and Maria, His earthly parents, “Dad, Mom, there are better ways to do this and that! (I know better than you do!)” when He was told by them to do something at home or in Joseph’s business. But He would have simply obeyed them as their Child, “Yes, Dad! Sure, Mom, I will do that.”
Friend, can you live, sacrificing all you can do and forgetting so-called your entitlement even for a year? Perhaps you shouldn’t say anything, even when you know better than others, or you are misunderstood, or you are taken advantage of by others. And can you still live with the meekness and gentleness in your heart toward the evil and the proud, like Jesus did?
A few days after this thought on His incarnation, His death and love, I happened to read an interesting conversation between Pastor John Fenn and his angel in one of his encounters with his angel, in his book “Pursuing The Seasons of God”:
As my angel stood there talking to me about heaven I asked him: “How do you relate to Jesus?” In my mind I realized they had seen everything Jesus had done for man. He started talking about Jesus being worthy to be worshiped and glorified; and said, “You have to understand, we know him as Creator.” Then slower to let me grasp what he was saying, “We know Him as Creator. He is worthy to be glorified and you are worthy to serve over us because he loves you so very much.” He continued. “Though we knew what was taking place when he left heaven, we did not personally understand. We had no way of comparing his great act of love for you with anything we had ever experienced or had ever seen him do. The creation of the universe pales beside the act of him leaving heaven to become one of his creations.”…. My angel continued, “We do not comprehend his great love for you, that he would strip himself of all authority and honor and lay it down to become one of his creation. That he would give all that up for man. We do not understand this.”
I share this, not because I reach the point where I should be, but I want to encourage us to meditate what Jesus did for us and what humiliation He had to endure as a human being. Yet, He chose to live with us in a human body in eternity! What kind of greatness and kindness He has! We will never outgive or outlove Him. Friend, are you willing to die for Him in your daily life? I pray we are, in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)
How are you? I’m well.
Today, I would like to share the goodness of our Father. Indeed, God is good all the time.
A few weeks ago, I exploded into anger, after I had chronic fatigue for many days due to lack of sleep. As mom’s dementia got worse, I was not able to sleep well. Not only the lack of sleep, but some gross and messy stuffs she made at home made me exhausted. Recently, she developed a strange behavior. She stacked up toilet papers on her bed and on the bedside table and was so happy with seeing those stacked toilet papers. Not only stacking them up, but she also threw away quite a lot into the trash bins and the toilet. Quite often, I found the toilet about to overflow, as she put way too many papers and even the thick paper in the middle of the toilet papers, after she used up one. So, I told her to throw away toilet papers into the trash bin in the restroom, not into the toilet. Then, one morning, I cleaned up her bed and bedside table. On the bed and the table, under the bed and behind the bed, there were heaps of toilet papers. While I cleaned them up, I simply exploded into anger. I was actually angry with her making noise at night, which disturbed my sleep again. Not controlling my tongue, I said to her, “You should go to a nursing home. I can’t stand you anymore!” I knew mom hates the idea of being sent to a nursing home, as she thinks living in a nursing home means to her being disowned by her children. Yet, I was mad and spat out the words. While I cleaned up the mess she made, fuming, I heard His still small voice, “So, you want to send her to a nursing home for toilet papers?”
I said, “Yes!!!”
And He said, “And for what else?”
So, I said, “The towels! She made all the towels wet, You know.”
While I replied to Him, He made me realize what a small stuff I was mad at and what an excuse I made to think of sending her to a nursing home. (though I always thought it would be the last resort and I would continue to put up with the difficulty for her.) After finishing cleaning up and calming down, I sat on the sofa. Interestingly enough, I watched a news on the TV, and it reported on an evil employee who worked in a nursing home and abused an elderly lady with dementia. They showed a video taken in the nursing home that recorded the moment of her abusing the dementia patient. I knew it was the Lord’s saying to me. I thought to myself that if I, even the daughter treated my mom unkindly, how much more unkind an employee in a nursing home would be to her.
Yet, mom continued to make me lose sleep at night and continued to make a mess. Then, last week, I awoke in the middle of the night due to the noise she made. I told her to go back to her bed. Then, I went to the restroom. And I became so mad. I saw the toilet was about to overflow and the toilet papers were overflowed from the trash bin and they became a mountain next to the toilet. I felt suffocated by the endless mess she made and felt so hopeless. While I cleaned up all the gross mess she made in the restroom, I just cried, and I still felt suffocated. When I went back to my bed, it was after 1:30am. I couldn’t get any sleep since then, being so weary and upset. So, I decided to take a walk as soon as the sun rises. Though mom tried to go out alone even in my presence at home a few weeks ago, I just thought to myself, “If she tried to go out, let her go. I simply can’t breathe anymore here.” Then, around 5:20am when the sun rose and it started to be bright outside, mom was sleeping. So, I left a message to her on the door of the restroom and on the window that I would take a walk and be back around 8am. Then, I went to my favorite place for a prayer walk, the garden of the Seoul art museum. I sang worship songs, as no one was around. And I kept praising Him and praying. Indeed, the joy of the Lord is my strength. I felt better and decided to go to a bakery, as it was so hot and humid even in the early morning. In the airconditioned room in the bakery, I texted my Singaporean friend to share what had happened over night and I felt good after I praised the Lord. My friend sympathized with me and said, “Yunee, can you ask your niece to look after your mom for a day or two? So, you can have a short breather.” So, I said to her that my niece seemed to be very busy for her work and I would not want to give any burden to her. And I also thought 1~2 day of getaway from mom wouldn’t really help. Then, my friend prayed that the Lord would refresh me with His joy and fill me with His peace.
Later, when I got back home, I felt much better.Interestingly enough, the Lord made me realize why mom acted strangely the other night. Before we went to bed, I was not kind to her. I was very blunt and unkind to her request, after being so tired. He made me realize that I lack in love and I treated her unkindly and it made a vicious cycle. And I was also sad, as she kept asking me, “Babe, do you still love me?” I repented and I asked the Father to pour out double portion of His love so that I love her no matter what, and she would feel His love through me. I was thankful that the Lord gave me not only joy, but also the revelation on what the problem was. Then, to my amazement, my niece texted me in that afternoon. It has been a few weeks since she texted me last time. As my Singaporean friend mentioned getting some help from her right in that morning, I was quite surprised to receive her text. She asked me whether we can have video-chatting together with mom. Then, when we were connected through the video, I was even more surprised. My nephew was in town! He came from a Muslim country where he worked, and he just finished the two-week of self-quarantine in Seoul. It was a total surprise. And we arranged our meeting for the next week. I booked a hotel in Seoul as one night family getaway. I was so grateful for His goodness, especially when I was so weary. And I was also grateful, thinking He would like to give my mom and my nephew an opportunity to see one another in 7 years, before she goes to the Lord.
Then, I was even more amazed and grateful for my niece’ proposal. She planned to pick up some Chinese foods from our favorite Chinese restaurant in my old hometown. Just the day before her call, my sister in California and I talked about our favorite foods in there and I said to her, “Oh, I miss the sweet and sour fish in that restaurant. It’s been 4 years since I went there.” What a good good Father we have! He indeed satisfies our mouth with good things!
So, on the day we were supposed to meet, my mom and I checked in the hotel earlier than my niece and nephew. My niece’ work was supposed to be finished at 6pm and they would be a little bit late, after picking up the Chinese foods. While I was waiting for them in the living room in the hotel, mom was sleeping in the bedroom. And I played out worship songs, praying in tongues. To my amazement, I saw a rainbow through the window! What a surprising gift from the Father! I never expected to see the rainbow on such a beautiful day when I have a family reunion. It reminded me of the commentary in the Bible I read earlier in that morning about His promises. I felt Him saying to me, “Babe, I never forget the promises I made to you. You’re not forgotten!”
Later when my niece and nephew arrived, my mom was simply overjoyed, and we enjoyed the very delicious Chinese foods together. What an amazing and good Father we have!
And after the dinner, when my niece showed some pictures to my mom in the bedroom, my nephew and I had a wonderful fellowship in the living room, talking about the Lord’s plan in the Muslim countries in the end times and I shared amazing testimonies that I read and listened to. I felt both of us were encouraged by one another and I found we share something in common in our book-reading and meditation. Although we met in 7 years since my elder sister’s wedding in California, I felt as though we met one another often and our faith binds one another closely. He shared how the Lord gave him the confirmation through the dream, when he asked Him about the path he should walk through and about the country he should go to. It was so encouraging to hear the Lord indeed give His children dreams and visions to show His plan for each one of us.
The family reunion with my mom, niece and nephew was such a precious gift from the Lord. My mom was so happy with her grandchildren and all of us had a great retreat, though it was short. I realized that He indeed made the lyrics of the worship song I sang in the garden of the museum, “Come to the River” come true to me.
Come to the water, all who are thirsty
Come and drink
Come to the table, all who are hungry
Come and feast
Those who are weary, those who are needy
I will taste and see You are good
Good to me
I tasted and saw He is good, even when I lacked in love. He refreshed my soul and He gave mercy to me to love my mother with His kindness. He gave me the heart to treasure her, when she is with me. Thankfully, she got better in her night sleep and my sleep was not disturbed at night, since our retreat. Praise the Lord!
Friend, I wanted to encourage you, if you are thirsty, hungry, weary or needy. The joy of the Lord is our strength. I pray that you and I continue to taste and see His goodness, no matter what circumstances we are in, in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
Bless the Lord, O my soul;
How are you? Hope you had or are having a good day, today?
Today, I would like to share part of some episodes I had in this May. My mom went to the emergency room in the big hospital in early May and was hospitalized for a few days. After that, in the middle of May, she went to the emergency room again and was hospitalized for a week. In the two hospitalization, she was diagnosed as hyponatremia and it seemed to cause her to vomit at each time before she had to go to the emergency room. Each time in the emergency room and during her stay in the hospital, there were so many challenges, coupled with the Covid-19. In her first visit to the emergency room, the hospital found I had a 37.7 degree of fever. So, they didn’t allow me to come in until I was tested negative.
In the second visit to the emergency room, my mom’s blood pressure went up to over 230 and she had a fever, while she was being treated. Due to her fever, she had to get the Covid-19 test immediately and she had to be isolated in the emergency room, until she was tested negative. As she was old, weak and almost unconscious, the staffs in the emergency room allowed me to be with her in an isolated room. So, I wore a special gown that the hospital staffs wore against the Covid-19 and was sitting next to mom’s bed for 5~6 hours till the test result came out. After she was tested negative, she was moved to other room in the emergency room and she got better. And in almost 24 hours since we came to the emergency room, we were told that she would be moved to the general room in the hospital. So, I checked in for her hospitalization and my Covid-19 test, as I should stay with her. In the check-in counter, I overheard the conversation of the check-in counter employee and a customer, the family member of the patient in the emergency room. It sounded like there was no available room in the hospital so that the patients in the emergency room to be hospitalized should stand by, not knowing how long it would take. The customer sounded very angry and complained a lot to the employee in the check-in counter. I would understand that many hospitals lack in rooms under the pandemic and I also heard the same report from the employee when I checked in.
When I came back to mom’s bed in the emergency room, after checking-in, the kind nurse who was in charge of mom said to me that he had seen the rooms in the general hospital usually on high demand on Monday and Tuesday during the week. And it was Monday night. I was extremely tired after all the shock and tension over the last 24 hours. Now mom seemed to get better, having a light sleep on the bed and I needed some sofa bed so badly, but in the emergency room, I could only take a seat on a chair next to mom’s bed. Then, I overheard the conversation in front of mom’s room. The patient in that room seemed to have a doctor friend there and he was able to be moved to the general room soon. At that moment, I was reminded of Walter Beuttler’s testimony in his book, The Manifest Presence of God:
When I was a student in Bible School, I was talking to the Superintendent of the Denomination to which I belonged. Later, his son came into the room and asked, “What will you do when you leave?” I had no home, as my family lived in Germany, and could only reply, “I do not know.” Then he asked what ministry I thought I would have. Again, I could only say, “I do not know.” Then he said, “I am glad I am not like you. I know people at the top, and I will have a big church.” When he left the room, he slammed the door and it felt like a shot from a gun going through my heart. It really hurt because I had nowhere to go. I dropped to my knees and prayed a very simple prayer, “Father, did You hear what he said?” As I prayed this, in a flash of revelation, the Lord quickened these thoughts to me. “It is true that he knows people at the top. But it is also true that I am your Father, and that I am at the top of all those who are at the top. And, I am your personal superintendent.” I lifted my hands and said, “Father, thank You for being Who You are. This day I acknowledge You as my personal superintendent.” Years later, while in Rio De Janeiro, I was told that this fellow was working as a butcher, and he did not have the big church he thought he would have.
Beuttler, Walter. The Manifest Presence of God: The Spiritual Journey of Walter Beuttler (pp. 28-29). Deeper Lift Press. Kindle Edition.
And I said to my Father who is at the top of all those who are at the top, “Father, I have no connection, but You! You have my back! I know You would work for us. Jesus, please do something for us.” After the prayer, I had such a confidence in my heart that He would make a way for us and nothing is impossible with Him. Soon enough, our kind nurse came to me, to share the good news that we would move to a room soon. Even when I heard the discouraging reports around, I had such a powerful Father at the top!
Over the last 24 hours, I had no energy and no time to read the Bible and pray, but I kept some verses from Psalms 34 in my heart:
When I had nothing, desperate and defeated,
I cried out to the Lord and he heard me,
bringing his miracle-deliverance when I needed it most.
The angel of Yahweh stooped down to listen as I prayed,
encircling me, empowering me, and showing me how to escape.
He will do this for everyone who fears God.
Drink deeply of the pleasures of this God.
Experience for yourself the joyous mercies he gives
to all who turn to hide themselves in him.
Yet when holy lovers of God cry out
to him with all their hearts,
the Lord will hear them and come to rescue them
from all their troubles. (The Passion Translation)
Indeed, He stooped down to listen to my cry and He delivered me from the troubles. After mom was hospitalized in a shared room for 5 patients, I was able to lie on the sofa bed, just thanking the Lord. Then, we spent two nights in that shared room, and I got to realize that the room belonged to orthopedics department. Indeed, when the hospital lacked in room, our Heavenly Father gave the shared room in the other department. Then, I was so exhausted in the shared room, after answering mom’s endless demand and hallucinations as well as hearing other patients’ screaming after their orthopedics surgery. I lacked in sleep and I got so weary. And I asked the nurse whether I could find a private room and she said she would check it out. Again, I prayed to our Heavenly Father. Amazingly, we were told to move to a private room in the internal medicine department where my mom should belong to. Every time when I cried out to Him for help, He always stooped down to listen to me. When we entered in the private room, I was even more thankful. From the window, I was able to see my middle school, high school and university campus. My mom was happy with looking at them with her old memory. As we had a TV in the private room, I turned on her favorite news channel, on mute, while playing out Korean hymns on my mobile phone. Then, the next day, I was able to find two Christian channels on TV so that I turned on one Christian channel, hoping mom would listen to the Words of God. But you know what? I heard the pastor preaching about honoring the parents! I smiled at the sense of humor of our Father. The other night, I was so weary, looking at mom’s trying to untie the belts around her wrists and feet tied her bed. She had to be tied after she pulled off the catheter and the intravenous cord for the treatment a few times. She was successful a few times in untying her wrist belts so that I had to tie her wrists time and again during the night. After all those weary battles over night, the message from our Heavenly Father was “Honor your parents!” and the pastor said, “The best way to honor our parents is to be with them.” I couldn’t agree with him more.
I shared part of the episodes only. There are so much more on the goodness of our Father from mom’s incidents, including meeting very nice doctors and nurses and so on. Friend, whatever circumstances you are in, I would like to encourage you to turn your eyes on Jesus and ask our good good Father. What the enemy intends for evil, He uses for good. He stoops down to you when you cry out to Him and He would say to you, “My child, I have your back!” Isn’t that awesome that we have all the powerful and always good and righteous Father at the top? When we have Him, we have everything!
Have a bliss!
So why would I fear the future?
How are you? Hope you had or are having a good day today?
In the book of Esther, there is a story that overturns the plot of genocide against the Jews. The Persian King’s insomnia. As the King was not able to sleep one night, he read the chronicles and found out he had not rewarded a Jew who had saved his life. That changed the story. David Pawson said in his teaching that people could say it is a coincidence, but it’s His providence. And it reminded me of a few stories.
One of the pastors in my Korea church shared the story of the couple he knew. When the man of the couple proposed to the woman, she wasn’t sure whether he was meant for her. So, when he proposed to her, she didn’t say yes or no immediately, but said to him that she needed time. Then, she prayed, “Lord, if he is meant for me, please let me know by the color of his clothes in our next meeting. If he wore a green shirt, I would know he is the one You gave me.” Then, in the evening when they were supposed to meet, she went to the meeting place. She waited and waited for him, but he didn’t come. She said to herself, “Maybe he is not the man the Lord gave to me.” Right at the moment she was about to leave the place, lo, behold, she saw the man running up the stairs from all the way down below in a “green” shirt. He rendered apology to her for being late. And he said his work was finished so late that he chose not to change his green uniform to see her as soon as possible. The Hands of God arranged all these things and they got married!
I recall an interesting story of Kari Jobe, a worship singer and her husband, Cody Carnes, a worship pastor in an interview. They were friends for five years in the worship team in Gateway church before marriage. She said that she wanted her future husband to have green eyes, but Cody Carnes had brown eyes. One day, he moved to Arizona, taking a position of worship pastor in the worship academy of Gateway church there. Later, when he started to court her and they met in a restaurant, she noticed Cody’s eyes got green. She said to him, “You have green eyes!” And he said, “No, I don’t.” Then he went to the restroom and found his eyes got green. They googled it later and found out brown eyes could turn to green, if they were exposed to too much of the sun. The weather in Arizona turned his brown eyes into green. And Kari said God had moved Cody to Arizona, for them to get married.
I got to realize these two stories are related to the color green, coincidently or by His providence?
No matter how funny or silly our desires or prayers sound, I think our Heavenly Father loves to answer His children. I picture He smiles, moving His Hands here and there, to answer us and confirm us on His will. And even when we don’t ask Him directly, I think He still intervenes for us. I feel many times that He has a sense of humor. If He is willing, He can even turn brown eyes into green eyes.
Friend, sometimes you might wonder why something in your family, in your relationship or in your career happened to you. I believe nothing in our life is accidental.
And if you have insomnia for no reason in the future, just like the King in the book of Esther, you might want to ask the Lord what He is trying to say. Or would you ask the Lord tonight to answer your prayer by His providence? Sounds good?
Have a bliss!
When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,