How are you? I’m well.
On January 13th, 2021, I had a dream where I seemed to be in a company’s office. It seemed as though my colleagues and I were preparing for an exam. Thus, we set a table in the corner of the pantry. My colleagues and I were sitting around the table and I put my Bible and my journal notebook on the table and went somewhere for a while. When I got back to the table, I noticed my Bible and journal notebook disappeared. I tried to locate them, and I finally found them out in the sink of the pantry. They got wet from the water in the sink. Especially the ink on my journal notebook spread all over the paper and I got so angry. I went back to the table where my colleagues sat and I threw my Bible and notebook to the table, asking them who did that. They kept silent, but they seemed to know who did that. Later, I got to know Hilary (not her real name), the personal assistant of the head in the office did that. But she pretended for long that she didn’t do that. Being so angry, I asked her why she did that to me. And she said, “Your reading the Bible and journaling reminded me of my husband, and I hate it.” I felt her excuse was nonsense and I rebuked her.
When I awoke and was able to recall the dream, I found it so funny, but I felt it was from the Lord and thought I knew what the dream meant. Hilary, the assistant of the head in the office served a very long year till her early sixties, to my recollection. I heard that she was laid off, after I left the company. She went to church, but not regularly. And her way of living did not represent Jesus at all. My Christian colleague and I called her Jezebel, just between the two of us, as we thought she was so evil. She tried to control all the employees, even including her boss and make the office her kingdom. Under her, she had a few assistants to report to her, and a lady who cleaned the pantry also reported to her. She bullied her subordinates that they left the company one by one, as they couldn’t put up with her torments anymore.
When I recalled the dream, I interpreted that she represented Satan. With regard to her saying that my reading the Bible and journaling reminded her of her husband, I interpreted her husband doesn’t literally mean her real husband, but Jesus. As James W. Goll shared in his article, 8 Common People in Dreams, “A husband in your dream often means that Christ Jesus the Lord is drawing ever so close in a covenant relationship,”I think the husband she mentioned represented Jesus, though it doesn’t mean Satan married Him. And I understood that Satan is very jealous of my communion with Jesus through my praying-reading the Bible and journaling. Since I watched and read Pastor Mike Bickle’s teaching on meditating on His Words and praying-reading the Bible, I started to read the Bible, to talk to Jesus and to know more of Him. It gave me such a joy and comfort, as I chose not to search the Scriptures out of legalism or self-righteousness anymore.
And I’m sure Satan would hate it and he would like to get rid of my Bible and my journal, to take away the good thing that won’t be taken away. I think the Lord showed me the enemy hates my walking on the right path after turning from the path of legalism, and he wants to do whatever it takes to stand in my way to the Lord. I recalled Neville Johnson’s teaching on meditation, and he mentioned it’s not easy, but the reward of meditation is remarkable and great. How much more would the enemy hate our receiving great rewards?
I’m sharing this to encourage you to continue to do or start to do what the enemy hates and is jealous of. I pray that we always sit at the feet of Jesus and talk to and listen to Him, in Yeshua’s name.
Have a bliss!
As the deer pants for the water brooks,
How are you? I’m very well.
In late December 2020, I listened to Pastor Mark Johnson’s teaching and he talked about Walter Beuttler’s testimony, saying he was a mentor of his late father, Neville Johnson. Then, I wanted to know more about Walter Beuttler, thinking what the mentor of Neville Johnson, so-called modern-day Enoch would be like. And I found out his book, “The Manifest Presence of God: My Spiritual Journey” and bought an e-book, not knowing the free pdf book is available on The Academy of Light website. (I’m sharing the link here, if you are interested.) It is a short book and I would tell you that you wouldn’t want to put it down, once you start to read it. I was stunned to read his testimonies, and I also smiled a lot, resonating with one of his experiences he shared in the book. He wrote that he knew the Lord desired to meet with him in the early morning hours, but it was very difficult for him to change his sleep pattern and to get up at 6am, which he thought was early. He asked the Lord to wake him up at six. Strangely, he heard a car crash in his neighborhood and a quiet old couples’ bickering exactly at 6am. The Lord answered his prayer, yet he couldn’t get up, but slept on. I couldn’t help smiling when reading this story. Like I shared in my previous blog, “Watchman,” I felt the Lord waking me up in the middle of the sleep and I woke up to pray. However, getting up is one thing and staying up is quite another. I felt so sleepy while praying. One day, I felt as if He said, “You’re only waiting for going back to sleep, not waiting for Me.” At this, my heart felt poked. Another day, I felt Him waking me up, but still with my head on my pillow; I felt so sleepy. I heard His still small voice, “Yunee, yes, it was Me that poked you.” But I said, “AW… But I’m so sleepy…” and I continued to sleep.
Reading Walter Beuttler’s story, I felt I was not alone. Even this great man of God went through it. Though I’m still struggling with staying awake in the middle of the night, I’m trying to get up to meditate on His Words and listen to and talk to Him. I would like to share one more story of Walter Beuttler’s.
The Lord would come into my room in many different ways. Often, He would wake me up by knocking. When I heard this knock, I noticed that it would be exactly 2:30... I began to wonder why the Lord almost always came at 2:30. I knew that scripturally, no hour is more significant than another. I sought the Lord concerning this, and He gave me the understanding that I desired. Long before, I had learned that there was a higher purpose for the night times than just sleeping. The Lord has revealed many choice truths to me during the long nights, as I spent time in His presence by “waiting upon Him.”
Then the Lord spoke this to me. “By 2:30, you have had enough sleep so you will be able to commune with Me for a time without falling asleep. And when we finish, there is enough time left for you to receive adequate rest for your day’s work.” Our Lord is very considerate and understanding. This caused me to love and respect Him even more.
Beuttler, Walter. The Manifest Presence of God: The Spiritual Journey of Walter Beuttler (p. 51). Deeper Lift Press. Kindle Edition.
One night at the year end, in 2020, I waited on the Lord, meditating on His Words and worshiping Him. The Words, ‘Everlasting Abba’ came into me and my eyes got wet. I imagined myself as a little child walking with Jesus, having a big smile on my face and looking at Him. Then, I also imagined myself sitting in front of the throne of God the Father with sapphire blue color around. That was before my Abba’s throne. I said to Him, “Thank You for being my everlasting Abba, Papa!” Then, on January 1st, I woke up at 3:13. While I saw the number 3:13, I wondered whether He was trying to say something to me, using this number. Since I looked up Jeremiah 33:3 the other night, I simply looked up Jeremiah 31:3. To my utter amazement, it says:
The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”
I was stunned to read His affirmation. Indeed, my everlasting Abba drew me with His lovingkindness at that hour.
I’m not saying you have to get up at a certain hour in the middle of the night. Yet I encourage you to set aside a quiet time to wait upon Him and simply enjoy the everlasting love of our Heavenly Father. He loves you and draws you near to Him. The almighty God wants you to call Him Papa. We know little children don’t learn how to love their parents, but they naturally snuggle up to their parents and they simply enjoy their parents’ company. They have no agenda but loving and being loved by their parents. We are all His everlasting children. We simply throw our arms around our Abba and snuggle up to Him.
Have a bliss!
I have set the Lord always before me;
How are you? I’m well.
With the new year, 2021 starting, I began to read the Bible from the book of Genesis, thinking I would read book by book every day and I would read the whole 66 books by early February or so. After that, I would meditate on the Words slowly, but at least I would read through the whole Bible once a year.
For the first ten days in January this year, I read a book from the Old Testament and another book from the New Testament, making a turn from the Old and the New Testament every day. I played out the audio Bible online and followed its reading. And you know what? I had no joy in reading His Words at all. I felt it was purely out of sense of responsibility, but not out of my desire to know the Person, Jesus. Then, on January 10th, before going to bed, I happened to watch Pastor Mike Bickle’s teaching, “How Then Shall We Live?: How to Pray-Read the Word.” He shared his testimony that when he read the book of John, chapter five, at the age of eighteen, the Holy Spirit highlighted the first time in his life the Scriptures, John 5:39~40:
You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.
It changed his life, as the Holy Spirit made him realize he was searching the Scriptures, but he didn’t come to Jesus. Since then, he read the Words, talking to Him, “Thank you, Lord for Your love. Reveal more to me.” His testimony just hit me at the right time. And I knew the Lord was speaking to me, to correct me. Even after I read a Jeanne Guyon’s book in December 2020, “Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ” and tried to pray the Scriptures, I set my own rule to read through the Bible at least once a year. I’m not saying that reading through the Bible once a year is wrong. But my heart attitude was wrong, as it was from my pride.
Before I got baptized by the Holy Spirit, I didn’t really read the Bible much. My reading the Scriptures for the past decades was mainly on the New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. But after the baptism of the Holy Spirit, I had hunger for His Words and began to read through the rest of the Bible. Then, I set a goal that I must read through the Bible at least once a year. It is seemingly good, but it always matters what our heart motives are. From a certain point in time, I knew it became like a religion to me. I reckon it as sheer self-righteousness and pride to try to read the bible through (though I didn’t brag to others about it). For the first ten days of this year while reading book by book, I knew my heart was simply overwhelmed without joy. When I played out the audio Bible, I first checked how long it would take and got overwhelmed. One day it was less than 3 hours, the other day it was more than 3 hours. And I had no joy in reading the Words, but I was burdened by the goal I set. And I was reminded of the elevator dream where I saw Pastor Mark Johnson and a bicycle in the elevator, which I interpreted were the Holy Spirit and legalism, respectively, like I shared in my previous blog, “The Word of God.” It was the bicycle, i.e. legalism, self-righteousness that stood in my way to push the elevator button for my destination, Jesus. I was not willing to come to the Person, Jesus, to know Him more and to be intimate with Him, but I was just trying to search the Scriptures by my own set of rules. The Lord never set a rule to me that I should read through the Bible at least once a year! I must throw away the bicycle, but I have to follow the Holy Spirit, to meet the Person, Jesus.
After I listened to Pastor Mike Bickle’s testimony and realized my wrong heart motive, I couldn’t help repenting before going to bed. I knelt down and said to the Lord, “Father, I repent of my pride in my heart. I tried to read through the Bible not willing to know You, but out of legalism and out of my pride.” Then, I heard Him saying in a gentle way, “Yes, you were like Martha!” At His words, I simply smiled, nodding. Precisely, I almost laughed out loud, as I couldn’t agree more with Him and I knew what He was trying to say. I was immediately reminded of what I read on Martha and Mary from the Jeanne Guyon’s book, “Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ.”
You will recall that Martha was doing something which was very correct, and yet the Lord rebuked her! Why? Because what she was doing, she was doing in her own strength. Martha was not following the moving of the Spirit within her. You must realize, dear reader, that the soul of man is naturally restless and turbulent. Your soul accomplishes very little even though it always appears busy. The Lord said to Martha, “You are careful and troubled over so many things. But only one thing is needed! Mary has chosen that good part which shall not be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41-42) And what had Mary chosen? She had chosen to rest peacefully and tranquilly at the feet of Jesus. She had ceased to live that Christ might be her life! This illustration highlights just how necessary it is for you to deny yourself and all your activity to follow Jesus Christ. If you are not led by His Spirit, you cannot follow Him.
Guyon, Jeanne. Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ (p. 56). Kindle Edition.
Since that night, I felt such a joy and freedom from the legalism. I chose not to be busying around, but to rest at the feet of Jesus, longing to talk to and listen to Him and know Him more. I rebuffed the way I would read the Bible, like the Pharisees did. Rather I chose to be John the beloved, who leaned on Jesus’ bosom. I don’t want head knowledge and ritual. I rather want to know the Person, Jesus and make friends with Him.
Are you like Martha or Mary? A few days ago, I was surprised to receive Lana Vawser’s words, I had a dream and I heard the Lord say “Meditate on what it would have been like for Mary to sit at My feet.” I believe this is what the Lord requires from us in this new season. I pray you and I become Mary, led by the Holy Spirit, and that we choose the good one that will not be taken from us forever, in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life (2 Corinthians 3:5b~6)
How are you? I’m very well.
In a James Durham’s book, Keys to Open Heaven, he describes prayer as one of the keys and wrote:
The Lord told me to write a book for intercessors (Restoring Foundations). As the Lord began to reveal what He wanted me to put into that book, one of the things He revealed to me was: real intercessors must pray in accordance with His Word and His Will. Then I began to notice that there are some very powerful prayers in the Word of God. I understood that if I pray these same prayers, they will always be in accordance with His Word and His Will. I began to get really excited about praying the prayers in the Bible. …I recommend this as a prayer discipline for you in this season.
A few weeks after I finished reading it, I happened to see a book, The Art of Praying the Scriptures: A Fresh Look at Lectio Divina, written by the late John Paul Jackson with John E. Thomas in online bookstore. Reminded of James Durham’s recommendation on praying the Scriptures, I became so interested in the book title that I bought it. Before the chapters begin, the late John Paul Jackson wrote:
Lectio divina is a way to practice giving God your full, undivided attention. The more you practice this method of reading the Scriptures, the easier it becomes to focus on God without the distractions of the day trying to take over your consciousness. Still, it does often require us to turn off the sound on our cell phones, notepads, laptops, and computers to ensure that what we want to focus on remains our focus. Lectio divina is slowly and deliberately praying the Scriptures, thereby allowing God to speak to you through them. In so doing, His Spirit connects to your spirit, and in that interior connection transformation accelerates. In some parallel spiritual way, God once again breathes the light of His Word into our spirits. That which was dormant comes alive. That which was languishing becomes vibrant once again.
Jackson, John Paul,Thomas, John E.. The Art of Praying the Scriptures: A Fresh Look at Lectio Divina (p. 2). Streams Ministries. Kindle Edition.
I felt these two books strike a chord with me. Praying with the Scriptures is all about Jesus, the Word of God. Reminded of the dream on Jesus at center I shared in my previous blog, The Word of God, I felt the Lord emphasize I must immerse myself in His Word. I used to do contemplative prayers since I listened to David Pawson’s teaching. But it was not regular nor with the Scriptures always.
So, I started to pray the Scriptures, just one verse or two at a time. I started my first practice with the Scripture from Isaiah 30:15, personalizing it, “In returning and rest I shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be my strength.” I meditated on it, murmuring it and memorizing it. And I loved it, as the Word gave me such a comfort. When I took a walk, I began to murmur and memorize the Scriptures I meditated on. And I felt praying the Scriptures would be as powerful as praying in Tongue, as the Word is Jesus and I indeed pray in His will.
Then, one night, I chose a few verses in the Beatitude from Matthew chapter five. I read the verse three, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” I know it’s one of the most frequently read verses in churches. Yet, I was not still able to understand what “the poor in spirit” means. I couldn’t make sense of it both in Korean and in English. But, it’s the key to have the kingdom of heaven that I long for. So, I said to the Lord, “Father, I really do not understand what the poor in spirit means. Would You please let me know?” I waited, closing my eyes. And He showed me my closet which was full of rice bags. I hoarded rice since the summer 2020, after listening to prophecy, i.e. warning on famine and hyperinflation to come. I hoarded many bags of rice, thinking I would share them with others and the Lord would multiply them with His miracles, when shared. So, I stacked the shelves in the closet with rice bags until there was no room in it. Then, only recently, I took out one bag to cook so that I could find a little space in the closet. The Lord showed me the very snapshot of the inside of the closet where I could find a small room to put a new stock in, if I would buy one. I felt as if He were saying, “If your spirit is full, there is no room for My Spirit to come in, just like your closet had no space until recently.” I got to understand if I want to be poor in spirit, I should take away ‘self’ in me. There are so many “Me, Me, Me” that Jesus cannot find any room to dwell in. It dawned on me that Derek Prince taught a living sacrifice in Romans 12:1: Once we lay ourselves on the altar, we don’t decide what we eat, what we wear and so on, but the Lord. Yet, we still try to make a decision on many things in our lives, sitting on the throne in us, which Jesus, King of kings is supposed to take. I think the Scripture means when we take away ourselves in us and die on the cross, the King will take His place in us which is due to Him, and His kingdom will dwell in us.
I wanted to share my development in prayer and the art of praying the Scriptures, the slow, quiet yet wonderful communion with our Father, to encourage you to start praying the Scriptures, if it’s new to you or you stopped it somehow. I believe when you meditate on them and ask our Father and wait upon Him, He would reveal Himself in a way familiar to you. He knows your everything. He is the giver of Torah and He is kind. I pray you and I love communion with our Father day by day and give Him His throne in us, in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
How sweet are Your words to my taste,