How are you? Hope you had or are having a good day today?
In January 2019 in California, I was in my secret closet alone with the Lord. I said to Him, “Father, what do You want me to do in this new season?” I heard Him saying, “Feed My sheep! Find one lost soul!” Since then, I heard Him saying “Feed My sheep! One sheep!” a few times, and I kept it into my heart. I thought of His love to leave ninety-nine sheep, to try to find one lost sheep and rejoice over the lost one more than over the ninety-nine, when it was found.
Then, in a few months when I started to write my testimonies and my thoughts to my friend, I thought I must try my best in writings, regardless of the number of readers. I believe the Lord would not belittle one reader. Neither should I.
Then, one day, I had a chance to meet a self-funding missionary for North Korea who used to be a tenant in my mom’s property. When I shared the Words on, “One sheep” from the Lord with her, she said to me, “Sister, what you’re doing is to look after the one sheep. You’re taking care of your mom, the very one sheep!” I never realized it until she said that. I knew the Lord was pleased with my looking after mom, but I never thought it was actually finding out one sheep, leaving behind the ninety-nine sheep. Since the missionary’s encouragement to me, I was even happier in looking after her.
Then, interestingly, I heard some of His faithful servants say the same revelation from the Lord. One missionary said during his preaching that the Lord had said to him, “There would be only a few who would listen to My Words in the meeting,” when he was invited to a big church gathering as a speaker. In the worldly point of view, it might have been low return on investment. After you meditated on His words, prayed over them, prepared for the sermon for such a long time and finally made a long trip, sometimes even international trips, you would get to know only one or two persons out of the hundreds of audience would be touched by your message from the Lord and be changed. But, would you give it up? I would imagine our Father is jumping around, when one lost sheep comes to Him. Angels above would blow trumpets and there would be a feast for the one sheep. We are in a serious business to snatch away the one lost sheep from eternal Hell.
I would like to encourage you to find out one lost sheep. Never be deceived by the enemy’s voice. One little thing is so important to the Lord. Are you a tired housewife, thinking it’s the same old things every day? Imagine our Father is jumping around the Throne and His Angels play joyful music, when you mirror Him to your husband, your kids and your neighbors. Have you passed by a homeless man in the nearby park? Would you take some time to say hello to him and share His love with him? Or do you feel you’re abandoned and you’re alone? No, our Heavenly Father has been waiting for you. He is longing for you!
I pray in Jesus’ name that you and I never belittle one lost sheep and always have His heart.
Have a bliss!
Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven. For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost.
How are you?
In January 2019 when I read the books of the four gospels in the New Testament and listened to David Pawson’s teaching, David said in his teaching on the book of Mark that Mark was mentioned frequently but always as Number Two. The Kingdom of God has a great need of Number Two, as there are plenty of Number One around; but we need faithful Number Two who carries the bags of others. He said Mark was a personal assistant of Barnabas, Paul and later Peter. Soon enough, I also heard a Korean pastor speak about Mark online and say many people want to be Paul and Peter, but not so many people want to become Mark.
Later, when I listened to Derek Prince’s teaching, “Women in the Church”, I thought of his first wife, Lydia who went to the Lord, and I also thought of Smith Wigglesworth, a British evangelist. To my recollection, Smith’s wife was a preacher before she got married to him. Smith was a plumber and was not able to read English. After he was baptized in the Holy Spirit, his wife asked him to start to preach instead of her. If my memory serves me right, she taught him how to read. His speech in his early time was not accurate in grammar and so forth, but with the power of the Holy Spirit, he healed the sick, cast out demons and did many miracles including raising the dead.
Derek Prince wrote that Lydia, his first wife was twenty-five years older than him and she was a strong woman of faith. In the beginning of their marriage, he was worried as to whether he could be the head of the family, as she had been a strong and outspoken believer many years. Derek met Jesus in person in his twenties before marriage. Yet, she served Derek to become the head of the family as well as the head of the ministry. Now the names of Derek Prince and Smith Wigglesworth are well known, but I don’t think the names of their wives are known as much. I believe they were the faithful Number Two that the Kingdom of God needs.
In April 2019, one week before Easter, my church in Seoul observed Passion Week and my pastor encouraged the Church to meditate on Jesus’ sacrifice for us. But I didn’t really think of Jesus especially for the Passion Week, nor intended to observe the Week. I think that we are free from keeping certain regulations including observing the Passion Week and so on. Then, I read the book, “Entering the Presence of God” by Derek Prince again, around Easter. When I first read it in the previous year, I found his explanation illuminated the Tabernacle in the Old Testament to me. Whenever I read the description of the Tabernacle in the Old Testament, I felt it’s a bit boring with too many details. But when he explained it consists of the outer court, the Holy Place and the Holy of Holies and they symbolize Jesus, the Holy Spirit and God the Father, respectively, I felt I finally got a grip on it.
Then, in my second reading of the book and his sermon on “Jesus is the Way”, the frequently used words “Jesus is the Way” suddenly made more sense to me. He is the only Way to God the Father. But I realized I had been ignoring Jesus and the Holy Spirit recently, to focus on the Holy of Holies, the Throne where God the Father is and where I could meet God the Father. My focus has been on seeing Him face to face in the Holy of Holies, ignoring Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It was just illuminated, and I wept and repented until my bed got wet with my tears. In my heart, I took Jesus and the Holy Spirit as Number Two and ignored them, thinking of the Father only, as Number One, so that I took the Passion Week lightly in my heart. Jesus and the Holy Spirit are the same as God the Father, but humbly took the place of Number Two. I wouldn’t forget His precious blood to become the Way to God the Father, taking the lowly seat. And I believe Mark and the wives of His faithful servants understood the everlasting Truth.
Are you willing to serve the Lord behind the scenes or are you only interested in standing in front of the pulpit in church? I’m not saying serving the Lord in worship teams or as preachers is wrong. But I’m saying that we must understand what our Father wants us to be and what our hearts should be. I pray that you and I are conformed to Jesus, willing to take the lowly seat and to serve in Jesus’ name.
Have a bliss!
Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
How are you today? Hope you had or are having a good day today?
Previously, I wrote the blog “Dream” and shared how God speaks to His children through dreams. Today, I would like to share how He taught me to repent through a dream.
Earlier in April this year, I had a dream. I was not able to recall everything in the
dream when I woke up in the middle of the night, to go to restroom. But I recalled some of it and especially remembered my feeling in that dream. In the dream, my elder sister in California gave me a piece of jean pants and disappeared. And I found some bullets in the pocket of the jean pants. Because of the bullets in the
pocket of the jeans, some people followed me to catch me and I ran away like a
fugitive. While running away, I complained of my sister’s leaving the pants with the bullets in them to me and making me a fugitive. That was all I could recall when I woke up from the dream in the middle of the night.
When I got back to my bed from the restroom, I said to the Lord, “Father, if that dream were from You, please let me know what it means.” I was not able to get back to sleep soon as usual; I was wide awake for a while. Then, to my surprise, He reminded me of the incident twenty-eight years back, when I grumbled to my sister and blamed her for some bad results, spitting out the words to hurt her. Just like in that dream, I blamed her. Twenty-eight years ago, when I shared the incident with my friend, she said to me, “No, it was too harsh of you to say that to your sister. She might have been hurt.” But, out of pride, I didn’t apologize to her. Now, in twenty-eight years, the Lord gave me the dream where I blamed my sister and grumbled to her in my heart, and He also reminded me of the incident, when I asked Him the interpretation of the dream. I was certain that He wanted me to repent of it and also apologize to my sister.
I thought to myself, “Should I bring up the subject from twenty-eight years back now?” And I thought it would need my humility, but this time, I realized that I had hurt my sister and she might have been wounded by my words. I thought the Holy Spirit made me put her wounds before my pride and made me repent indeed. So, in the middle of the night, I repented to the Lord and went back to sleep.
And in a few hours when I woke up, I got some texts from my sister. It was the Easter in the US, and she said, “Happy Easter!” She sounded very happy, unlike the recent days in the lockdown. And I wrote a very long message to her, explaining what I saw in the dream last night and what the Lord reminded me, when I asked Him. And I said to her, “I’m so sorry that I hurt you at that time. I was so harsh to you.” And she said, “Yes, you were! Now you mention it, I forgive you.” And she continued to text me, sounding happy, to say that she was able to get up early in the morning, and attend the Easter service online. And she gave some money to the two homeless men in front of a grocery store. I felt that He even orchestrated the time of giving me the dream and apologizing to my sister. I felt He had something in store for her on “the Lord's Resurrection” day, and I was grateful to Him. He healed her wounds, and He was also gracious and merciful to me, as I was truly able to realize that my sister had been wounded by my words, but I had ignored and forgotten it so long. I recall a pastor’s sermon that we should ask the Holy Spirit to teach us to repent as the Lord wants, not just being emotional to say sorry to the Lord. And I thought that He taught me to think how my sister would have felt. And I was also in awe to see how He speaks to His children through dream.
I do not know what He must speak to you in person. It could be affirmation or chastisement or much-needed instructions or reminder to do something. No matter what, I pray that you would obey Him in Jesus’ name.
Or, if you think someone wronged you, please forgive him or her. One day, our righteous Lord will reveal the truth to him or her and lead him or her to repentance.
Have a bliss!
Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. (Romans 8: 26~27)
How are you? I’m well.
I wrote in my previous blog, “Victory” that I got to know that the Lord would not cast out the evil spirits in my mom, but He would bring her to Himself in peace in His time. At that time, I didn’t ask Him why, but trusted that His ways and thoughts are higher than mine. Being a sole caregiver to my old mom over the last three years, now I think I know why He allowed this time and what He wanted to do through it.
In all honesty, looking after mom with dementia symptoms under the influence of demonic spirits was not always easy. I love feeding mom and I take it a privilege and honor to take good care of her. But sometimes I felt that I was stuck, not being able to go anywhere; neither able to do something I want. The other times, her weird behavior made me lose my patience.
In the last three years, I often had difficulties with guilt and condemnation, after I was not able to contain my anger anymore, and exploded. Sometimes, I was not kind to mom. But whenever I knelt down to repent at night, He just blew me away. He spoke to me, “My daughter, I love you. I don’t condemn you. I know what you’re going through now.” He never condemned me, but I realized it was the voice of the enemy that gave me guilt and condemnation. At the end of year 2018, I heard Him saying, “I will set you free!”, and I kept hearing the message on freedom from many servants of the Lord in early 2019. I felt it was His confirmation. Now, looking back at those years, I think He indeed set me free from the guilt and condemnation.
In addition to the freedom, I found myself changed a little bit year after year. I found myself more patient and kinder to mom than yesterday, though things didn’t change much. I could sympathize with her more than before.
Last year, I read an Os Hillman’s book, “The Upside of Adversity”. He wrote about the three responses to Adversity: Anger, Suck It Up, and Acceptance with Joy. I realized that my response in the past was more like “Suck It Up”. I didn’t really take the time to stay with mom most of the time as a pleasure. But now, I realize that He changed my heart and I am different from what I was. I do not mean that I am on cloud nine every day, but I think I found out His goodness to confine me over the last three years and to teach me. I feel like I took three years of discipleship training. I’m not saying I’m now perfect, but I’m still in the middle of being transformed to be more like our Father. In addition, I realized that He has granted my mom the best season ever. Though she has dementia symptoms and she is not smart or independent as she used to be, she often said to me, “Babe, I’m so grateful to the Lord. It’s my best season in my life. I have delicious foods every day. And I have your company every day. I didn’t even want to think of the days of being alone here, when you were abroad.” And I got to realize that she would never have had nice foods she likes, as she always wanted to give them to her children. She always sacrificed everything good for her children. And I think the Lord indeed gives her the best season, giving her rest and my company.
In January 2020, I also realized that God actually sheltered me into a safe place, and where I also discovered my calling. Just like Joseph needed to be imprisoned with the false accusation for many years to become a prime minister in Egypt, and to save His family in Israel, I think He sheltered me next to my mom at home. If I were not in a position to look after mom at home, I might have jumped around here and there, not finding out the true calling from Him. While spending most of the time with mom at home, I found out the calling to write His story in my life, and it also afforded me the time to write.
I once bought a book on Bible study, written by a Korean pastor who used to be a Korean ambassador in many nations before he was called to full time ministry in a church in Japan. The book was actually written when he was the ambassador, while serving my church as one of the elders. In that book, I read an interesting finding on the reason of Joseph’s being imprisoned two more years after he interpreted the dreams of the cupbearer and the baker. He might have felt forgotten by the Lord, but actually he was not. The author wrote that one of the conditions to be a prime minister in the Ancient Egypt at that time was the age of thirty or above. He was called to Pharaoh, king of Egypt two years after the interpretation of the prisoners’ dreams. And it was when he was thirty years old. (Genesis 41:46) The Lord had everything in His plan and orchestrated all of the events.
King David was anointed in secret many years before he became a king. He had to spend many years like a fugitive, knowing he would be a king in the future. And Moses was sheltered and trained for forty years before he led the Israelites out of captivity.
I believe it was all His discipleship training. Through the training, they learned faithfulness, hope, patience, and so on. Now, I’m more grateful to the Lord than before, for granting me the season of confinement and the season of being sheltered. I trust that He has been putting all pieces together, to make one of His great masterpieces.
Does my story speak to you? Do you feel you’ve been stuck like Joseph so many years? I encourage you not to suck it up, but to accept it with joy. Easier said than done, right? But our faithful Lord will end your discipleship training when He sees you as pure gold. Imagine you will be glowing like the pure gold!
Have a bliss!
But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. (2 Peter 1:5~9)
How are you today? I’m very well.
Do you usually save your favorite food till last when you are served on the table?
I would like to share some of my stories.
After I left my first employer, I went to MBA school in Seoul as a full-time student. Before my last semester began in the school, I actively started to find a new employer. I sent my resume to some headhunters, and I had a few opportunities to have interviews with potential employers. But, until my last semester was finished, no one hired me. I was discouraged when I got some feedback from some headhunters that the interviewers had an impression on me that I wouldn’t be assertive or aggressive enough to work with their employees in somewhat challenging environments. I felt discouraged, and I also wondered how come it would be so difficult with more than seven years of the career in my first employment and other educational backgrounds.
Finally, even after my graduation at the MBA school, I remained unemployed. But I still had the faith that God would provide me with the right one in His time. Then, one day, I was reached by a headhunter who introduced a position in a multinational tobacco company to me. In my faith, I didn’t want to work for a company that makes money by potentially harming its customers. So, I told the headhunter that I would not apply for the job. And I kept on waiting. Then, another headhunter reached me for the same position in that multinational tobacco company. Though I had no income, nor knew the time of my employment, I thought I must keep on waiting for the Lord’s provision. Then, one day, a colleague who used to work with me in my previous company called me to ask whether I would be interested in a position in a multinational pharmaceutical company. He introduced a headhunter to me, and I could go to the interview. I was waiting for an interviewer in the meeting room of the company. But the interviewer didn’t appear, and I think I was waiting for about thirty minutes.
Finally, a man opened up the door, and came in, saying, “Did I keep you waiting so long?” I looked at him, and I stood amazed. The interviewer was one of my colleagues who worked with me in my previous employment. We worked in different locations, but I once worked for a project he led in our previous company. And he already knew I would come as an interviewee, as he had reviewed my resume. I had no clue about the interviewer until we met face to face. We shared how we had been, and the interview was like a catch-up with an old friend. He thankfully said to me, “Yunee, I hire you, not because I worked with you, but because I know how you worked in our previous employment.” I still think he was kind enough to say that, to encourage me. And he struck through my starting salary on the paper that I asked the headhunter, and he increased it by twenty five percent. Looking back at the potential employers who didn’t hire me, I found my final employer turned out to be the best: It was closer to home, it proposed higher salary than I asked, my new boss, the hiring manager, was a good Catholic, the employer worked for the sick. It was for healing customers, not for harming customers.
Then, after five years working in the Seoul organization of my second employer, I moved to Shanghai for a new role. In three years in Shanghai, I moved to Singapore. Every time in the relocation, home-finding was very taxing. It would be challenging in my own country, more so in foreign lands. But I was grateful to the Lord for preparing good places for me, no matter where I moved. Before moving to Singapore, I had a home-finding trip that the employer paid for. I liked an apartment near the East Coast that had the coast view. Since my package including the housing support and salary was not finalized at that time, I could not put any deposit to make a contract with the landlord of the apartment. Later, I got to hear a disappointing report from my agent in Singapore that the apartment I liked was taken, while waiting to finalize my salary with the employer. I had to start over home-searching, as I didn’t like the other apartments I saw the last time, except for the one taken away.
After I moved to Singapore, I had the second round of home-finding. After visiting the listed places, I was so disappointed and tired, as I was not able to find ‘This-is-it!’ place yet. My kind agent said, while giving me a drive to somewhere, “Yunee, now we’re visiting the last one in the list.” And when I got to the last place in the list, I was amazed to see what He had in store for me. It had an astounding view of the green woods, the river and the ocean without any neighboring apartments in front. In addition to the nice nature view, it also had a view of Singapore landmark. I felt it’s an unexpected gift from the Lord. Not only that, later I found out that my employer was supposed to move to a new location. And it would have taken much longer from the previous apartment that was taken away by someone to the new location of my employer. But from the apartment I finally made a rent contract for, it took shorter to come to the office in a new location and it had more options in public transportation. My Father knows the best and He prepared the best place for me till last.
In two years after I lived in that beautiful place, I felt I should move to a new place in order to save my rent and to use savings for His Kingdom. I got to be more familiar with Singapore by that time so that I thought I would move to an apartment, targeting thirty percent of savings in rent. I even thought of commuting longer, if I could save that much. So, I worked with the agent who worked with me in my first home-finding trip two years back. With him, I had a home-searching again, but could not still find that “This-is-it!” place. In my heart, I didn’t really want to move from my first place in Singapore, which had such a beautiful view from every room. And I had such a wonderful memory of His Presence. So, one afternoon on the way home, looking at the Geylang River near my place, I dropped tears because I would leave this town with the beautiful memory anytime soon.
I had another home-finding trip, taking my annual leave. My agent and I visited many places in his list, but I didn’t like any of them. I was so tired, and said to the Lord, “Lord, I just want a place with the view of green trees!” Then, my agent brought me to the last place in his list, saying, “Yunee, this is the last one!” When we entered the place, I stood amazed to see every window of the rooms filled with green trees! And the rent was exactly thirty percent lower, as I targeted. And the location was just near my place where I cherished the memory with the Lord. Just one stop away and walking distance! Still next to the river where I thought of Him. Transportation and eatery-wise, much better! I was overwhelmed by His goodness and by His love. Again, He had the best place in store for me till last.
Are you weary, waiting for His answer? No matter whether it’s a job, a place to live in, financial breakthrough, a future spouse, a new baby or whatsoever, I would like to encourage you to trust Him. He knows the best. Sometimes He keeps it till last. The best thing in your life is yet to come! Please keep up the faith and hope in Him!
Have a bliss!
Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.