![]() Dear Friend, How are you? Hope you had or are having a good day, today? In this summer when I had a night of family reunion with my mom, niece and nephew in Seoul, we had the last meal together before we said good-bye. My niece prayed, “Father, nothing is impossible with You. You can heal grandma’s dementia.” I knew it was her well-meaning prayer, but I smiled in my heart and said to myself, “Oh, dear, you wouldn’t know it’s a blessing in disguise!” and I really meant it. Looking back at the past 4~5 years, I felt the Lord indeed allowed this season both for mom and for myself. To me, it was not always easy and there were certainly some moments when I felt I couldn’t contain myself anymore. Yet, He is always gracious and merciful so that I realized that He wants to mold my character through mom’s dementia. I’m not saying I’m being perfect now, and I still feel annoyed, when she wakes me up in the middle of the deep sleep, by turning on the light or turning the TV volume up. Yet I know I grew in love and patience. Not only that, I realized that the dementia made my mom rest. She used to live a busy life, managing her commercial property and her tenants until she was in her early 80’s. I would understand how hard it was to her. Now, with dementia, she is like a 5~6 years old kid. As her monologue to herself is so loud, many times I overhear her and get to know her thoughts and realize how happy she is. Many times, the sweetness in her monologues made me laugh. And she seems to enjoy her life without any concerns at all. If she were simply old without dementia, I’m pretty sure that she would continue to think and worry about her property and want everything under her control. But her dementia made her forget her burdens and rely on me in every small matter. I’m happy to see her happy daily and I’m grateful to the Lord that He grants her this precious time after she spent so many years of hardship. Our Father knows the best. And He is faithful to all of His children. While this thought has been in my mind, I happened to read Pastor John Fenn’s newsletter posted in 2018 in The Church Without Walls International website. And his story simply spoke to me, in light of mom’s dementia. I would like to share part of his newsletter: A lesson about a dump truck A couple of weeks ago we had Chris home for his normal Friday/Saturday home visit from the group home. On that Friday we had been running errands all day, and I was tired as was Chris and glad to be headed home. We were driving home along country roads that wind around the lake we live on. A big, fully loaded dump truck turned in front of us at a 4-way stop (it was his turn after all) and it was a diesel truck that needed a tune up – thick black smoke swirled over us as I slowed the car to a crawl, unable to pass along the narrow roads. This went on for a couple miles/1.2 km, and Chris was excited about seeing a dump truck and talked constantly about it, about the smoke, how it stunk, about how it was loaded with something heavy, and so forth. (He runs a constant commentary on about any car, truck, plane or train he sees) Soon, I saw my chance to pass As I was about to poke the car out from behind the truck to sneak a peak to see if there was any oncoming traffic, I thought half to myself and half to the Father, “Father, I’d sure like to get around this guy if no one is coming my way in the other direction.” And immediately, totally unexpected, I heard Him reply: “You may do that if you want, but then again, you might consider that maybe I ordered your steps to be behind it for Chris’ sake and enjoyment.” Instantly I replied as I pulled the car back to my side of the road and slowed, “Oh. Sorry Father, I hadn’t even thought about that”, and He simply said, “That’s okay.” After a couple more miles we turned right and just after that turn the dump truck pulled over. Chris was excited, and we pulled beside him and I rolled down Chris’ window – the driver said he pulled over because he thought we would want to pass, but I explained that we wanted to be behind him, briefly explained about Chris, and he started up again with us trailing behind – it made Chris’ day. That lesson, to slow down and consider the dump truck obstacle wasn’t for me, wasn’t missed by me. Not every delay is the devil, not every obstacle in life is the enemy. We have to look past the first assumption of what that obstacle is for, and think larger than ourselves to the Father’s larger work. It isn’t always about us, sometimes it’s about others. And it is the Father at work, not the devil. Sometimes the Father lets us know we can do what we had in mind for our time frame and agenda. But if we did, we’d miss a larger blessing. Consider asking Him if that ‘dump truck’ causing you to slow down, might not be about you and your schedule and your list of things to do after all, but for someone else’s need or purpose, and He just needs your cooperation to allow Him to work. After I wrote down the draft of this blog with this newsletter, I received the latest weekly word from Rick Joyner, Follow The King, Part 11 and felt the Lord gives me the consistent message: Last year I had an extraordinary encounter with the Lord which lasted three days. One purpose for this encounter was for me to see the degree of my impatience, impetuousness, and stubbornness. Many times these have caused me to miss something God had for me or wanted me to do. I was shocked to learn how many times I had missed God’s purposes, opportunities, or assignments for my life. So many divine connections I needed and miracles I would have seen. I was also told I could not be trusted with the authority the Lord wanted to give me until I dealt with these three major strongholds. When I compared myself to others, I thought I was doing better even with these flaws, and I may have been, but I am not the standard. The Apostle Paul wrote that we are without understanding when we compare ourselves to others (see II Corinthians 10:12). I asked the Lord to help me with these problems, and He has been most faithful. Discipline to grow in patience has been a daily lesson. … If you are also constantly beset with obstacles and things that force you to slow down, instead of cursing the devil, you may want to find out who’s really behind this and embrace the discipline. Remember, He disciplines those He loves (see Hebrews 12:6). Don’t waste your trials, especially the ones that challenge your patience. Friend, I do not know whether you have experienced seeming obstacles or that dump truck in your life. Perhaps you might have prayed to Him that He would take those obstacles, not knowing you are standing in His way. I pray that you and I understand our Father’s heart and see those obstacles as He sees them, in Jesus’ name. Have a bliss! Yunee If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:7~11) Comments are closed.
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