How are you? I’m well.
Do you know that our God is a jealous God? (For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. Exodus 34:14)
While I have been taking Sister Margaret Seaward’s classes via zoom, I heard her share her testimony on her hobby a few times. When she was young, she had a hobby. Then, the Lord told her not to have that hobby. Being very upset, she said to the Lord and talked about a Christian lady, “But, Lord, xxx has many hobbies. Why can’t I have one?” Then, He said to her, “Her hobbies are not number one to her, but to you, it’s your number one.” He said she went overboard on it and He didn’t want that. When I first heard her testimony, I really didn’t have any hobby that would take place of number one. But in the middle of this July, I started to make dolls and I really loved it. I made dolls, by purchasing DIY packages that includes patterns, fabrics and instructions. And my mind was full of making dolls, dolls’ clothes and so on, using my own fabrics and having some variations to the patterns and designs I got to learn from the packages. And I bought many books, fabrics, buttons and so forth and I even made a dolls' sofa. And each time I completed making a doll, I was so glad and took pictures to share with my sister. Yet I tried to put some limitations on my time on the hobby so that I tried to make 1 or 2 dolls per week and spend 2~3 days per week. But the problem was even when I was not making dolls, my mind was completely on it. I was thinking of what DIY package I would order next time, looking at a vendor’s blog and what clothes I would make with my own fabrics. And even when I prayed and worshiped in tongues, I found my thought was on making dolls, not on the Lord nor on those I prayed for. And many times when I thought of making dolls, I was reminded of Sister Margaret’s testimony on the hobby. I thought to myself, “Am I being so distracted while this is the moment that the Bride should be watchful?” But I kept resisting the thought and I justified my desire to make dolls, thinking He implanted the gift of crafting in me, and Jesus and I have something in common, including handcrafting. I actually received a personal prophecy back in Singapore that I am gifted with handcrafts and so on and I may give others ideas on them or I myself would do some handcraft works in a new season. So, I tried to justify my hobby. In addition, while I was making dolls, I listened to Sister Margaret’s classes in YouTube that I missed earlier and Pastor John Fenn’s audio teachings. In so doing, I also tried to justify my spending time on the new hobby, thinking I listen to the Words, too. Then, recently when I read a Pastor John Fenn’s book, Roadmap for Spiritual Growth, he wrote about lusts:
“These are not just purely sexual, but lusts defined as desires that are out of control or try to dominate our lives. Those can be food, sex, companionship, some hobby or whatever that desire might be that is out of balance.”
My heart was heavy after reading this, as I felt in a sense that I was out of balance since I started to make dolls. Then, one night in a dream, I saw a frog figure in a sewing machine. When I awoke, I was reminded of a Sister Margaret’s teaching where she said a frog represents an unclean spirit. Yet I thought to myself, “The dream wouldn’t be from the Lord. I can’t make a sense of the whole dream.” Then, last night, I woke up in the middle of the sleep, to go to the restroom. In the restroom, a song just came into my heart and I sang in my mind, “Don’t look away, My child!” I knew the song. It was part of spontaneous worship songs that Pastor John’s son, Brian sang. I sometimes listen to his worship music in the Church Without Walls International website. I knew from a Pastor John's teaching that Brian, his son sometimes sang back to the people the songs from the Lord during the worship. And I knew the song that I sang being half-awake was from the Lord, not from me. So in a few hours when I woke up in the morning, I thought to myself, “From exactly what, does the Lord want me to turn my focus? Would it be my hobby or something else?” On one side of my heart, I’ve been thinking, “Could it be the devil’s scheme that these little foxes spoil the vine? (Song of Solomon 2:15)” being reminded of Sister Margaret’s teaching. But on the other side of my heart, I’ve resisted the thought, saying it can be legalism. Then, I attended the Song of Solomon class of Sister Margaret, and I said to myself, “If the Lord wants me to stop that hobby, He will let me know through her teaching or others, today!” I haven’t asked the Lord directly, while I have been trying to be conversational with Him. I was simply afraid of hearing Him say “Stop that hobby!” just in case.
To my utter amazement, just a few minutes before the class ended, Sister Margaret shared her testimony on the hobby again. I knew it was the Lord’s speaking to me. Though I was in awe, I felt sad in a sense. Then, I did get to realize it had been an idol, as I felt so sad. But now I’m glad and thankful, as He wants me to be His pure Bride. He’s been jealous for me. I’m not saying every hobby is an idol. Just like Pastor John Fenn wrote, whether it’s food, sex, companionship, hobby, or whatever that desire might be, we can live in lusts. And anybody or anything can be an idol. I tried to limit my time on the hobby, yet my heart was out of balance over the 6 weeks or so. When I posted a blog, Waste, a few weeks back, I talked about wasting everything for Him, but in reality, I didn’t live up to my words, Friend.
Later that afternoon, I expected another DIY package of dolls I had ordered to arrive, but I chose not to make dolls any more, until He would allow me to do. Obedience is better than sacrifice. I wanted to obey Him as soon as I was confirmed by Sister Margaret’s testimony. While I was writing this, I heard in YouTube Pastor Joe Sweet saying “Consecration, the singleness of our heart is more important than speaking in tongues.” What a timely word! I choose to be consecrated and set apart for Him. I wouldn’t let the little foxes spoil the vine.
Friend, I don’t know whether it spoke to you. You might say, “Hobby is just small things. Why can't you even do that?” But no matter how small and how little it may seem, it could ruin the relationship with the Lord. And I share what Pastor David Guzik wrote in his commentary in EnduringWord on Song of Solomon 2:15:
iii. Hudson Taylor thought of the “little foxes” that may ruin our relationship with Jesus Christ. “The enemies may be small, but the mischief done great… And how numerous the little foxes are! Little compromises with the world; disobedience to the still small voice in little things; little indulgences of the flesh to the neglect of duty; little strokes of policy; doing evil in little things that good may come; and the beauty, and the fruitfulness of the vine are sacrificed!”
And Sister Margaret Seaward also said, “Little foxes are little things, little sins, little discrepancies, little dangers, little things left unattended to. Things seem too small to do much harm but the effect is spiritually disastrous.”
Friend, our God, the Father gave His only begotten Son, as He loved us so much. And Jesus died for us, having all the pains and humiliation. Actually, the thing I gave up for Him yesterday was just nothing, compared with His love and sacrifice for me. Friend, it’s my desire and prayer that we don’t neglect His still small voice and we choose to love Him, consecrate ourselves and be His pure Bride.
PS) With regard to my writing, I don’t think He would stop me, as I don’t go overboard on it. :)
Have a bliss!
Set me as a seal upon your heart,