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Dear Friend, How are you? Hope you are well. In the evening of October 6th, Sunday, my mind was a bit busy. I was thinking about a certain matter, and googled something. When I went to my bed, it was after 11pm. On my bed, I came to see Pastor David Guzik’s latest video popped up, titled “When God Sings.” It was a short video like 5 minutes or so, and it was on Zephaniah 3:16~17: In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Do not fear; Zion, let not your hands be weak. The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”(NKJV) Then, Pastor Guzik said something like this (my paraphrase), “People listen to their own songs with earbuds or headphones on, instead of being quieted to listen to God’s song.” I truly concurred with him. I also felt that the Father wants me to be quieted to listen to His song over me, and be soaked in His love, not being distracted as I was before after dinner on that day. Yet, I didn’t feel guilty nor condemned, but thought of His love over me. Since I started to enjoy quietness as well as listening to birds during Me time with the Father, I sometimes turn my music player off at home. I used to play out quiet background music when reading books, writing blogs, or doing house chores, no matter whether it’s classical, jazz, Hawaiian ukulele or worship instrumental music. But, when my ears caught still small singing of bird(s) outside in this town, I turned off the music player to enjoy the bird(s)’ singing. I came to love listening to birds more than beautiful music people made, though music is still beautiful. So, I was able to agree with Pastor Guzik’s sharing, and I think we need to take some time to quiet ourselves to listen to the Father and our Lord, and enjoy His pouring out His love over us. During Me time in the autumn, I sometimes strolled or sat on bench, but other times, I enjoyed coffee or tea in cafe. When the weather was not cold, I took a seat outdoors in cafe. And I chose to be quiet in my mind, not trying to do anything such as reading or praying. But I quieted myself, enjoying beautiful lights through trees. The next morning after watching Pastor David’s “When God Sings,” I wanted to read those verses from The Message Bible that my favorite writer and pastor, Eugene Peterson translated. :) “Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs. (The MSG)” Then, I came to think these Zephaniah 3:17 is well known so that Christian contemporary songs in Korean were made with this verse. But the translation of “He will quiet (calm) you with His love” in Korean is more like “He will love you quietly.” And I thought some different translations in Korean might be due to direct translation from Hebrew, not from English. Then, I became curious about what the Hebrew word for this verse meant and searched it in BlueletterBible. There, interestingly, I found King James Version says: he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. Similar to Korean translation, it implies God will rest in His love. Then, the Hebrew word, haras’ meaning is: to be silent, be dumb, be speechless, be deaf, keep quiet, make silent, remain silent No matter which version is close to the original Hebrew meaning, I believe both God and we commune in rest and silence and His love. And I picture a parent quiets his or her baby in arms. Mom or dad may sing lullaby over the baby with her or his love. Pouring out love in silence and rest. The baby will be calmed. And I was reminded of some writings that my Singapore pastor’s wife shared from their silent retreat to Malaysia earlier this year: Silence and prayer If we take as our guide the oldest prayer book, the biblical Psalms, we note two main forms of prayer. One is a lament and cry for help, other is thanksgiving and praise to God. On a more hidden level, there is a third kind of prayer, without demands or explicit expression of praise. In Psalm 131 for instance, there is nothing but quietness and confidence: I have calmed and quieted my soul... hope in the Lord from this time on and forevermore. (Ps 131:2.3) At times prayer becomes silent. Peaceful communion with God can do without words. “I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother.” Like the satisfied child who has stopped crying and is in its mother’s arms, so can “my soul be with me” in the presence of God. Prayer then needs no words, maybe not even thoughts. How is it possible to reach inner silence? Sometimes we are apparently silent, and yet we have great discussions within, struggling with imaginary partners or with ourselves. Calming our souls requires a kind of simplicity: “I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.”(Ps 131:1) Silence means recognizing that my worries can’t do much. Silence means leaving to God what is beyond my reach and capacity. A moment of silence, even very short, is like a holy stop, a sabbatical rest, a trace of worries. The turmoil of our thoughts can be compared to the storm that struck the disciples’ boat on the Sea of Galilee while Jesus was sleeping. Like them, we may be helpless, full of anxiety, and incapable of calming ourselves. But Christ is able to come to our help as well. As he rebuked the wind and the sea and “there was a great calm”, He can also quiet our heart when it is agitated by fears and worries (Mark 4:39). Remaining silent, we trust and hope in God. One psalm suggests that silence is even a form of praise. We are used to reading at the beginning of Psalm 65: "Praise is due to you, O God.” This translation follows the Greek text, but actually the Hebrew text printed in most Bibles reads: “Silence is praise to you, O God.” When words and thoughts come to an end, God is praised in silent wonder and admiration. Friend, I found that no matter whether it’s prayer or our praise to Him, it seems silence should be part of our communion with our Father. In reality, however, I found being in silence inwardly is extremely difficult and even more difficult than staying silent outwardly. I don’t know about you, but I felt my mind often has been a battleground. And I was glad to read Eugene Peterson’s writing on Psalm 131: The transition from a sucking infant to a weaned child, from squalling baby to quiet son or daughter, is not smooth. It is stormy and noisy. It is no easy thing to quiet yourself: sooner may we calm the sea or rule the wind or tame a tiger than quiet ourselves. It is pitched battle. The baby is denied expected comforts and flies into rages or sinks into sulks. There are sobs and struggles. The infant is facing its first great sorrow and it is in sore distress. But “to the weaned child his mother is his comfort growth out of spiritual infancy when we can forgo the joys which once appeared to be essential, and can find our solace in him who denies them to us. (Charles Spurgeon)” (from Long Obedience in the Same Direction) On October 16th, after lunch, I debated as to whether I would go out for a short Me time. It was overcast and gloomy. I felt under the weather, and I also felt a bit upset, after reading a text from someone. I didn’t want to go out, but I had to go grocery shopping for mom’s fruits. So I went out. I didn’t feel like taking a stroll so that I went to one of my favorite cafes with a terrace outdoors. I thought that I would enjoy coffee, trees on the street and perhaps birds outdoors, before grocery shopping, though it wasn’t sunny and a bit cold. It was around 1:30pm and there were many people at the cafe both indoors and outdoors. Chitchat was overheard from next table and behind. Yet, I was able to quiet myself at that time, despite the noise around me. Lo and behold, a magpie flied from a Chinese church on the other side of the street toward the cafe and then U-turned and flied away. The voice of the Lord. I smiled. And I felt Him pouring out His love over me just like Zephaniah 3:17. He knew how upset I was, after the text message. But He wanted me to walk in love. He wanted me to be generous. And He reminded me that He does take care of me and He will satisfy my heart’s desires. And Ephesians 3:20 came into my mind: Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. It gave me so much comfort and joy. I was indeed quieted like a weaned child in the Father’s arms. When I came back home, I was totally refreshed from that quiet moment inside, despite the noise in the cafe. Friend, Would you like to take some quiet moment with the Father, and listen to His love song over you? Perhaps you could go to the nature and stroll or you might be in the crowd. Yet, you would hear His song over you. Have a bliss! Julie I’ve kept my feet on the ground, Dear Friend, How are you? Hope you’ve been well. Do you want to be blessed? I do. “Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. (Psalm 1:1~2)” Eugene Peterson wrote in As Kingfishers Catch Fire: “But here is a surprise. In the language of the psalmist, this word meditate has to do with slow eating, literally to slowly chew or masticate or suck on a lollipop. My understanding of meditate in Psalm 1 took on a whole different meaning when I came across the same Hebrew word in Isaiah in the sentence “As a lion or a young lion growls over its prey” (31:4, NRSV) … I always took delight in my dog’s delight, his playful seriousness, totally absorbed in the “one thing…needful” (Luke 10:42) Hagah is a word our Hebrew ancestors used for reading the kind of writing that deals with our souls. … But when Isaiah’s lion and my dog meditated, they chewed and swallowed, using teeth and tongue, stomach and intestines. Isaiah’s lion meditated his prey. My dog meditated his bone. You and I meditate the revelation in Scripture and Jesus.” When I read this earlier this summer, I was able to think of what I had corrected recently. I’ve been doing exercise at home since 2020 or perhaps later, watching a series of home exercise programs in YouTube by a Christian Broadcast Network channel. The exercise is simple with towels or water bottle in hands, yet I found it very helpful. I watched and followed 3~4 different videos and each video has 3 different sets of exercises. In the beginning of the video, a well known trainer shows how to do each exercise with a model, and explains the benefits of each exercise. When I started those exercises, I watched each video from the beginning, and listened to his explanation. But as I got used to each exercise in 4 different videos, I skipped the trainer’s explanation in the early part of them, and followed the model’s doing exercise. I became more focused on doing my daily or every other day routines as quickly as possible within 20 minutes or so. I did that perhaps for more than 2 years. Then, one day, I came to watch the exercise video from the very first part and listened to the trainer’s explanation as to what to keep in mind during exercise, such as breathing, balance, etc. So, I tried to do it rather slowly, focusing on breathing in each movement than finish exercise quickly. I used to focus on finishing exercise as quickly as possible, and felt good about doing exercise. But, when I slowly followed the teacher’s instruction and focused on my movement together with breathing on that day, I felt that now I was doing things quite correctly. What it counts is actually doing it correctly and slowly rather than doing it quickly and checking “Done” in my mind. I was also able to notice the effects of doing correctly and slowly. And I felt this applies to my meditating the Words. Just like Eugene’s dog chewed and meditated his bone, seriously and delightfully, and just like I saw the benefit from changing my behavior in exercise, I think we should meditate His Words, chewing slowly and delightfully. It’s not about how many chapters and verses we would read per day and feel proud of kind of achievement on daily “task”. It’s not a task, but relationship. Did we meet the Father, in slowly chewing His Words? Even with a verse or two per day, we can meet the Person, talk to Him and listen to Him, by chewing slowly His Words. On later part of Psalm 1:3 “He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.”, Eugene Peterson wrote: “And I love this detail: ‘planted by streams of water.’ Which is to say that it is a domestic tree, not a wild species growing by chance. … They were the tree that had been the object of care and cultivation, the knowledge and skill of the horticulturist God. Brains and purpose had been brought to bear on this tree. … For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, … (verse 6) Know in common usage among us mostly has to do with information. But in the Christian way, it is firsthand relationship, personal knowledge, historical, and existential. In Jesus Christ, God knows us, and then, because the initiative has been Sprit-given to us, we know God. But the knowledge is not speculative or literacy. It is personal and experienced. In this knowledge we are in on the foundational reality of existence.” Friend, I hope this blesses you, and I pray that you and I may chew delightfully and slowly His Words and we meet the Person and know Him in person (not know about Him) so that we are blessed, cultivated by Him and bring forth fruits. Have a bliss! Julie You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life. (John 5:39~40) Dear Friend, How are you? Hope you’re well. I wrote about my learning last year that farming and farming in a big scale is not the Father’s will for me, but enjoying fellowship with Him in my future garden. Now, I even think that I would be satisfied with having small pots and/or a raised garden bed, if I would live in a condo with a large lanai. Now, I wouldn’t vie for a house with acreage of land any longer, but with a small garden, i.e. low maintenance yard. I even came to think that living in a condo might be a better option, if HOA fee is reasonable. Easy carefree living. Lol. One of the reasons in the change of my thought is that I learned to be satisfied with enjoying His creatures in the gardens of the museums and in the small parks near my place over the past few months. I don’t own nor maintain any of them, but can still enjoy the free gifts from the Father of all creation. Then, I started to ask question in my mind. I certainly remember the day when the Father answered my prayer, back in my Singapore time. I was in the middle of corporate fasting with my church. I decided to fast for lunch, so I usually went out during the lunch hour, bringing my book. Then, the Father gave me a thought on YWAM xxxx during my fasting and I searched its website immediately. To my amazement, I found out they have a farm and they would have a 10 day of class in the coming December, which I ended up taking. Laying fleece like Gideon, I asked Him to show me words like farm, farmers, etc. during my Bible reading later on that day. If He did, I would know for sure that He wants me to be a farmer. Amazingly enough, He showed me those words later on that day. Looking back on my youth, I had no experience of living in a farm. But, my mom grew some vegetables in the garden of our single family home. The joy of harvesting, the smell of earth when I helped water our garden. That memory gave me a desire to farm. But last year, during prayer, I also got to learn He wants me to spend time with Him in my future garden, not to become a farmer. I didn’t want to farm for fear of things to come such as depression, food inflation, or scarcity of foods. Yet, I used to think having my own garden would be helpful for food supply in the coming difficult times. Then, earlier this year, I came to listen to David Wilkerson’t sermon titled “Preparing for Hard Times” and he said something like (I paraphraze) “Some people do gardening for foods out of fear, but keeping them costs more than buying in grocery.” Lol. I agree from my experience of raising small pots indoors a couple of years back. David Wilkerson’s point was the importance of being in the secret place with Him, not physical and material preparation that some Christians are obsessed with. So, I kept thinking to myself, “Why in the world did the Father give me the heart to farm or do gardening in my time in Singapore, as I wouldn’t be a farmer at the end of the day?” And I think I learned why. Relationships. If I had not dreamed of being a farmer, I would not have taken the class in YWAM xxxx that the Father let me know. When I stayed there for less than 2 weeks only, I felt somehow that I would come here again and live in that land. Now, I think He led me to that land, not because He planned to make me a farmer there, but because He prepared for people that I should meet and have a community with in the land of living. Perhaps some of them might be lifetime friends and/or house church members. To the Father, relationship is more important than work. I think it is actually everything. As it’s everything between Him and us, His children, vertically, horizontal relationship is also important (who we meet and make friends with). Since 2018, I asked the Father to give me confirmation as to where He is leading me in the future. In His sense of humor and in His kindness, He repeatedly confirmed where I would go. In my 20’s ~ 40’s, He led me to a couple of employers and countries for work. I know He planned my journey, putting in each place the people that I should meet, through my work. Working for a corporate didn’t really fit into me, but I had to work for money. And I knew I could not have earned enough, if I had been a writer. :) But, God didn’t lead me to those employers not merely for me to make money and be independent, but He connected me to people. I don’t keep in touch with all of them, of course, but there are some precious people I continue friendship and fellowship with, regardless of distance. There are some who meet for a season only, but others for longer seasons or for the rest of our lives on earth. Our Father and our Lord thought us up. God designed for the paths we should go through, thinking of relationships. I don’t think I understand His will and plan perfectly now, and I’m still in the middle of putting the puzzle together. I think, in the land where I would go and live, God already planned my friends, my neighbors, and/or house church members. It’s not about something I should do for God, like David story I shared last week. I can do nothing. God gives. God prepared and planned relationships. With Him and with His people. When writing the draft of this blog, I came to recall a story that John Fenn wrote in “Pursuing the Seasons of God.” It is about God’s provision, and it shows how He prepared people (relationship) in addition to His Angels, and tells how important it is to listen to His voice and obey Him: Don’t Miss His Provision! The Lord told me that many times provision is made for his people in accordance with their prayers and angels are sent to make it happen, but when time comes for them to step into what the Lord has done in the spirit, people go their own way instead and get into trouble. He told me that many have even died because the angels prepared in one area but the people went in another direction, and the angels have to stick to their assignment and can’t rescue people in these cases. He showed me an example of what he was talking about. Suddenly we were standing in the air looking down into a church; I saw below us a young, single woman with two children sitting on the back pew. She was listening to the sermon, but her mind wasn’t on the sermon and I heard her thinking to the Lord about some answers she needed. One child appeared to be about three or so and the other was a baby. The three year old was standing up looking over the back of the pew and the baby was in her lap. I heard her prayers and thoughts as she ignored the sermon and complained to the Lord about her situation. The Lord explained that her husband had left her and she was living with her parents, which is why she was in that church. He said she hadn’t gotten a job yet and her car was broken down (he said it was the alternator). In her mind she was saying things like: “Lord, you said you’d be the Father to the fatherless, but look at my kids, where have you been faithful to them? Why have you abandoned me? Where is your provision? How am I going to get a job without a car and how can I get the car fixed without a job? This isn’t mom and dad’s problem; I can’t keep sponging off them. Show me how to get my life and finances back in order...” And many other things like that. My heart went out to this young mother who was thinking the Lord had abandoned her and she couldn’t understand why he was allowing this difficulty. Then I turned to my left to ask the Lord what could be done, but what I saw stopped the words in my throat: tears were streaming down his face as he heard what she was saying. He said, “She is in this church because of loyalty to her parents, but she knows she is supposed to be going to another church.” Just then I saw a church to our left that was across town and a pastor delivering a message to his congregation that I heard this woman asking the Lord about. Jesus said he was teaching a series on finances and establishing God’s order in life. She should have been in that other church getting her answers! He said that beyond her, her children had a call on their lives that was being delayed and stifled because of her emotional unwillingness to do what was right. He said, “She is seeking answers, and I have provided the answers but she is looking in the wrong place. He turned to the church across town and pointed out a man in a t-shirt sitting towards the front left. He said, “Do you see this man? He is a mechanic. I have commanded him to fix her car.” He pointed out one older woman sitting with two friends: “do you see this lady? She baby sits children in her home and I have commanded that she watch her children.” Then he pointed out another man. “Do you see this man? He own a business in the town that has an opening for a receptionist, and I have commanded he give her that job.” I was reminded of Elijah and the widow of Zarephath in 1 Kings 17: 8–16. In Verse 9 the Lord told Elijah that he had commanded a widow to sustain him, but when he got there the lady was preparing what she thought was her last meal, completely unaware a miraculous provision had been commanded from heaven. She was ready to die not knowing the blessing had been commanded. This was exactly the case with this young mother I was observing. Suddenly I saw off to our left, at about a forty-five degree angle, what appeared to be something of an assembly line. It was like a pathway into the future and there were angels at either side of this path. There wasn’t a conveyor belt or anything like that, but I saw angels darting in and out of the path, while some stood on the side arranging things. Jesus said: “This is my will for her for the next two years. The angels have prepared a job for her as I’ve said, as well as the job and an apartment within two months, and I’m also sending her to school to complete her education. All this has been prepared for her to walk in.” Then off to our right I saw another path going two years into the future. Unlike the other path, which was lit by God’s glory, this was dimly lit and had only one or two angels on the side looking rather inactive. Before I could ask what I was seeing he said: “This is the path she is heading down, which is outside my will. As soon as the command goes forth for the Father’s will the angels are assigned to make ready everything needed. People will often start out along the right path, but when decisions that require growth or character are required they sometimes back off our perfect will and go their own way. This is what you are seeing. I am faithful and will do what I can, but the angels respond to the command in the perfect will of the Father and cannot change assignments at their will to excuse people’s disobedience. We will not be blamed on the final day of judgment: when all is revealed everyone will see we have faithfully kept their words of commitment to us.” God put all the people who were supposed to meet and help the lady in that other church. His provision comes through relationships. And we are supposed to obey Him, walking in love, and helping one another in His body, the church. I couldn’t resonate with the Lord’s teaching enough, thinking of my decision a dozen of years back. In the company, I was offered for a position to be based in Shanghai. I simply knew God led me to the job and the city. So, I chose to leave Seoul, putting mom in the Father’s hand. At that time, my general manager in Korea organization said that I was very brave. He said that if he were in my shoes, he would not move to Shanghai. He was worried about language barrier, security and so forth. But, I never ever regret my decision even to this day, but know I was in His perfect will. He put all the people I had to meet down the road. And I lived safe and sound in that foreign land. Likewise, I believe I would live safe and sound in the future in the land of living He planned for me, no matter what zone it is. Friend, In the way our Father and Lord designed for us, we would be provided for everything, and we would also become helpers and supporters for others, no matter whether it’s finance, time or any other resource. He wants us to be generous in resource, as He is to us. And He wants His children to meet one another in the picture He painted before the creation. But at the end of the day, we have free wills and He won’t push us, as He is Gentleman. Friend, my heart’s desire is that you and I may listen to Him, sensitive to His leading, and obey Him. We’re on a journey to the land of our living, playing hide and seek with the Father and our Lord. When we are in His perfect will, the journey will be joyful, and we will be peaceful and prosperous in the land where He may send us. He is with us. Have a bliss! Julie Now the Lord had said to Abram: |
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