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Dear Friend, How are you? Hope you’re well. This morning, before going to the oriental medicine clinic for acupuncture treatment, I stopped by a Christian school founded by an American missionary. I went to my favorite bench there. I had a purpose for that. Last Thursday or so, I read John 11: Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.” (Verse 9~10) Later at that night, I played Pastor John Fenn’s teaching, “Open The Eyes of My Heart” in my phone. I often play his audio teachings at night before sleep, as they help me fall asleep. :) Interestingly enough, in that audio teaching, I came to hear him talking about John 11:9~10 I read a while back: Walking in the day, and walking in the light is walking in the revelation from the Father. And he encouraged the audience to spend time and invest the time for it. Not in formula. To shut the mouth, the thinking, the formula, the prayer. To shut ourself down to be in the neutral. To pray in the spirit. To stop praying in tongues, even necessarily sometimes. To think on the inside. To call to the remembrance of the former days when we were first enlightened. To look inwardly. If we walk in the revelation, we become good at this over time. Whole kingdom of heaven starts from the revelation from the Father. And he encouraged the audience to go back to the place where He spoke to us, whether it’s driving through the country, sitting in the bathtub, taking a shower, working in the garden or yardwork, working with hands, or walking along our exercise routine. To go back. That’s where He will meet us again. That’s what we’re living for. And he went on to say that we rearrange our schedule and our time to give to that. And He will reveal and unveil. We can shift our attention inside during the day. (I paraphrase) When I listened to his teaching, my favorite bench in the Christian school came into my mind immediately. In fact, earlier on that week, I visited the bench and sat there, calming down inside of my heart. It was the place where I was able to shut down my thoughts even for a few minutes. There was a silent moment and I said to the Father, “Aww Father, how I missed this.” So, this morning, I left my place earlier, to try to spend some time there, before going to the clinic. When I sat on the bench, my mind was still busy. And I tried to say something to the Father, out of kind of religiosity. I thought I should start by saying something to give thanks to Him or to praise Him. But then, I felt the Father speaking to me, “Relax.” And I stopped thinking of saying some religious words to Him. Then, words came into my minds. “Silence is also a prayer.” So, I was able to shut myself down. Interestingly enough, I came to see a dad and his little son walking together in the campus. The dad held his little son with one hand and his son’s little bag with the other hand. They didn’t talk to one another, yet the dad enjoyed walking in step with his son, smiling. Both of them were walking slowly, as the little son was walking slowly. My eyes got fixed on the son’s bag in the father’s hand. And it reminded me of what I said to the Father on my bed last night. I murmured to Him, half asleep, “Father, I want to learn from Jesus, as His yoke and burden are easy. I don’t have to carry the burden, but He.” And I was reminded of another couple of dad and little son that the Father brought to me a few minutes back there. The dad was walking, carrying his little son on his shoulders. He was holding his son’s hands and the son was carrying his backpack on his back. Both of them were laughing. Just like dreams and visions speak thousands words in a second, the two couples of dad & son did to me. They spoke volumes. Friend, Would you like to go to the place where the Father met you, today or tomorrow? I don’t go to the bench every day. Especially when the weather is too cold or too hot, I can’t. But at least, I like some moments on my bed, when I’m half-awake in the morning and the Father speaks to me. I pray that you and I rearrange our time and invest our time, shutting down formula and religiosity. We may shift our attention inside and listen to Him more often, I pray. Have a bliss! Julie Therefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power (Ephesians 1:15~19) Dear Friend, How are you? Hope you’re well. Last week, I listened to Pastor John Fenn’s teaching on the book of Samuel. He talked about King Saul’s story of disobedience. And he quoted the famous verse that Samuel said to him, “Obedience is better than sacrifice.” And he shared a story of one of his students in his bible school long time ago. (I paraphrase from my recollection.) She came to him and said that she had been led by the Holy Spirit to work in nursery on Sundays. But, she was offered by the head of usher team to join the usher team. And she wanted to do that. Being an usher appealed to her ego. She would wear a jacket, a badge and so on. She would pull people out of the room, if they made noise. And people would see her. But, working in nursery is not seen by the people, and she should change dirty diapers, etc. So, Pastor John said to her, “Obedience is better than sacrifice.” And her eyes widened, as if she realized the Words speaks to her personally. And he believed she did obey since then. It reminded me of what Eugene Peterson wrote in a chapter titled “Work (David and Saul)” in his book, Leap over a Wall: “… but in each instance Samuel confronted Saul with an act of disobedience against God that took place in the course of carrying out the work (1 Sam. 13:13 and 15:19). Neither act of disobedience appeared sinful. Neither involved immorality or injustice. Both of them made perfect sense in terms of military strategy; in fact, both acts were dictated by good military strategy. Both acts of disobedience involved, interestingly and most significantly, worship. …But Saul was quite ready to side with the people in letting them worship God on their terms rather than on God’s terms. Even though it appeared that the worship of God motivated these actions, they weren’t primarily concerned with God but were motivated by Saul’s concern with the people - in the first instance, to keep them united and focused; in the second instance, to keep them happy. The people loomed large in Saul’s considerations, far larger than God. Saul was, it seems, trying to do good work, and he saw bringing God in as a way to do good work, be a good king. But “bringing God in” reversed reality. Saul was treating God as a means, as a resource. And God will not be used. … Because work originates in God’s word and action and so readily and obviously expresses God, it also constitutes our chief area of temptation. When we’re working well, doing good work, we’re truly godlike. It isn’t much of a step to thinking ourselves gods. But if we are gods, we don’t need God, or at least don’t need him very much. The sin of Saul took place in the midst of doing good work. Saul was ruined as a God-anointed king in the course of doing his God-appointed work. Work is a far more common source of temptation than sex. Later in the David story we’ll come upon David’s sexual temptation and subsequent adultery. But David’s sexual sin wasn’t nearly as disastrous as Saul’s work sin.” Friend, I hope Eugene’s insight is eye-opening. Two years back, during my prayers, I realized that I had taken a mistake in discerning the Father’s will for me over the past few years. I think I wrote it here in one of my previous blogs. I always thought I must do something for God financially and do some work to help others. Doesn’t it sound good? But, His will for me wasn’t there. He doesn’t need my money, as He is Maker of all things, and He is our Provider. He wouldn’t need my work to get things done. He has myriads of angels. I do not mean that we may live a selfish life. Not at all. It’s always key to know His will and work on His terms, not on our terms. Perhaps that work may not even look like work. Imagine the 40 years Moses spent, herding sheep. He must have been a shepherd at my age, unobtrusive. 40 years… We may be used to thinking of Moses as a leader who led the Israelite to cross the Red Sea or who received the Ten Commandments from God firsthand. But he had to spend a third of his life, 40 years, not 4 years, as a shepherd. But he was in His perfect will for him at that time. We also know another shepherd, who was after the Father’s heart and later became a king. And our King, our Lord Jesus lived unobtrusively for 30 years, before He started His ministry. Not 3 years like Paul had to spend in Arabia, but 30 years. I believe decades of our lives here on earth would be apprenticeship to rule and reign with our King later in Millennium. And the apprenticeship may not look like what we think it should be. Hidden, ordinary, long-suffering and obeying. And His Kingdom would be literally Kingdom, I believe. So, we obey our King now and forever. Perhaps you might have felt led by the Holy Spirit to something you’ve thought as insignificant. Perhaps something that anybody would do in daily life. Being a parent, being a spouse, praying and worshiping Him in a secret place. No matter how it looks, obedience is better than sacrifice. I pray that you and I know He is our God and King and we are not. We serve and worship Him on His terms. Have a bliss! Julie And Samuel said to Saul, “You have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God, which He commanded you. For now the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. But now your kingdom shall not continue. The Lord has sought for Himself a man after His own heart, and the Lord has commanded him to be commander over His people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you.” (1 Samuel 13:13~14) Dear Friend, How are you? Hope you’re well. Have you ever received personal prophecy? I have. I have two prophetic words with paintings from Irene Wong, and I’ve recorded two prophetic words when a Korean couple gave me back in 2017 in Singapore. Out of the two, I deleted one for good, as I felt the check on the prophetess’ heart. But, I took her husband’s prophecy as genuine, and some of them already came to pass indeed. Then, one of his prophetic words was that I was created as a plane so that I was supposed to fly. But, I’ve been stuck in the road so that I’ve been feeling confined. His words made me stunned, as I received the same words from a young Singaporean lady perhaps in her 20’s, when I took a Sister Margaret’s class, “Hearing the Voice of God.” Since then, I used to ask myself what that word exactly means, and whether I took off by now. I think I once wrote in a blog here that it would mean writing blogs. Yet, I felt there must be more to it. Somehow, earlier last week, the question came into my mind again: What does it mean to fly? What does it mean that I was made as a plane? Interestingly enough, my friend in Singapore sent me a link of a prophecy last week, and it talked about Golden Eagle. She didn’t send me prophecy often for the past couple of years, and I was also not keen to read any, except reading Pastor John’s monthly newsletter which sometimes includes prophetic words. After learning from his teachings, I became more interested in fellowship with the Father and character growth rather than Oh Ah experience or ego-boosting prophecy. Then, when my friend sent me the prophecy on Golden Eagle, I thought to myself whether He was giving me a hint on my recent question on plane in flight. Then, last Saturday, I read an email with Pastor John’s weekly thoughts that came overnight: In The Revelation 19: 10 it says this: “…the testimony of Jesus is the Spirit of prophecy.” It means that any prophetic word won’t be about us, it won’t boost our ego, it will always be about the Lord. Simple prophecy is a divinely inspired word for us or someone else that brings “edification, exhortation, or comfort.” That is Paul’s definition of simple prophecy in I Corinthians 14:3. It has nothing to do with the future, and it will always point a person to Jesus – He is our builder, the one who encourages us, the one to bring us comfort. When the Lord does give a prophetic word or vision for our future, it too will be about Jesus. If you have a prophecy that focuses on how you will preach to millions, or minster in a stadium or be on TV, or anything else that would give your ego a boost – it isn’t a true word from the Lord, or at least it is polluted by the giver’s fleshly additions. The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy, so if you are mentioned at all, it will be secondary to His work and His vision and His goals for you. …. Yes, of course a prophecy may include you and His plans for you, but as you fit in HIS plans, it isn’t about you. In Acts 9 when the Lord appears to Paul as he was about to enter Damascus, He told Paul a few things about his ministry. But He also blinded him for 3 days, just to remove his ego out of the call on his life. He wanted him to know Jesus is boss and it is all about what He wants to do in Paul’s life. I felt it was very timely message, and I felt the Father teaches me through this word. I didn’t try to understand personal prophecy from His perspective. It’s all about Jesus. And I’ve seen many so-called prophets give ego boosting words to the body of Christ, not directing them to Jesus. Some prophets would say, “You have Esther anointing!” Others might say, “You have Deborah anointing!” But seriously, when we have Christ in us, why should we be satisfied with less? Esther, Deborah, Joseph… They are merely imperfect humans. But, we have Christ in us. Yet, recipients of the ego-boosting words would get deceived, and think, “Oh I’m supposed to be a woman leader like Deborah. I’m supposed to be the top.” When I read Pastor John’s weekly thoughts, I was reminded of what I had read from an Eugene Peterson’s book, The Pastor, just earlier on that day: The first half of the psalm 108 is all I and me: “My heart is ready, O God my heart is ready … awake my soul… I will awake the dawn … answer me.” “I” and “me,” nine times. I loved that. I was given a grammar in which I could express myself in my surroundings with a vocabulary tailor-made to my experience. I’m sure that is why I liked it so much. I was an eighteen-year-old adolescent, full of myself, full of my town. I loved saying “I” and “me.” I still do. Then, abruptly, without a transition, God is speaking: God has promised in his sanctuary, … I felt it was not a coincidence that I read this earlier on that day. When I’m immature, it’s all about I and me. Ego. But, the Father wants me to grow in Him. It’s about Him, not me. So, the next morning, I read two prophetic words from Irene Wong for me, to try to find the testimony of Jesus. I came to read them from His perspective for the first time. His purposes, His plans, and His will for me. Every word was for Him. His light and His healing aroma. He uses me as conduits only. He’s the one that I should look at and focus on. So, going back to my question on a plane in flight, I think it would be perhaps realizing Christ in me and looking at things from His perspective and pointing you to Jesus. Speaking of prophecy, I think I’ve been prophesying according to what Paul said, as I wrote to edify, exhort and comfort. :) Friend, I hope this blesses you and you would go back to the prophetic words you’ve received and find Him, just in case you were like me. :) May you and I always look at our Lord, the Author and Finisher of our faith. He’s the One to be glorified. As we behold His beauty, we may look like Him. Have a bliss! Julie The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! This is He of whom I said, ‘After me comes a Man who is preferred before me, for He was before me.’ (John 1:29~30) Dear Friend, How are you? Hope you are well. One of Psalms I love is Psalm 63: O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me. (Psalm 63:1~8) Once in a while when I was half-awake on my bed in the morning, I would say to the Father, “Your lovingkindness is better than life. So my lips shall praise You.” And sometimes, I play in my phone Esther Mui’s song with lyrics of part of Psalm 63. Then, one day, verse 1 spoke to me specially, “O God, You are my God.” We were taught by our Lord how to pray, i.e. The Lord’s Prayer, which starts with “Our Father in heaven.” Our Father. It’s corporate and we are community and family who have one Father. Yet, just like King David said, “You are my God,” I believe you and I should have this confession and relationship. Sadly, though, even Christians say blasphemy, “OMG” without discernment and without the slightest twinge of conscience. “Oh my God” is a precious call toward our Father. Special relationship with One who created the universe and you and me. Certainly personal, my God! One YouTube channel I’ve been watching from time to time has vlogs of the family who live in a rural area in France. A French husband, a Korean wife and their four children: two boys and twin girls. I started to watch their vlog for the first time perhaps a couple of years back, as their little twin girls’ conversation with the mom in Korean was simply cuteness overload. Watching some vlogs in the channel, I found out some wise decisions of the mom. Once in a while, she had kind of “alone together” time with each of her kids in turn. So, one day, she took a day trip with her older boy. Another day, with her younger boy, and so forth. In each trip, I saw every kid of hers loved time alone with their mom. The kids are very sweet and nice, and especially the older brothers take good care of their little twin sisters. And they love one another’s company together with their parents. Yet, when each of them had a bonding time with their mom alone, they were even happier. They shared their honest thoughts and feelings with their mom. And I felt the mom also enjoy some quality time, focusing on one child at a time. In a Korean show I watched recently, there was a scene from 1960’s that a poor mother woke up her oldest girl in the middle of the night, while two other younger children were left asleep. The mother knew her days were numbered, and wanted to say her will and to have special moment with her oldest girl. She gave her girl some precious meals only for her. Perhaps that scene seemed to remind my sister in California of her own precious memory with our mother. I recalled she used to say that one night when she was little, mom woke her up and gave her favorite meal, when I was asleep. I also had some memories alone with mom. When my sister went to elementary school, mom took me to a brand-new department store. I was a little girl, and escalator was new to me. Mom took my hand, comforting me, and we took escalators together. I think she perhaps bought me something, but cannot recall other stuffs. But, certainly the day is one of my fond memories. Friend, I guess you might have special memories alone with your dad, your mom or your kid. Likewise each one of us has special memory and personal relationship with our Father, through thick and thin. The moment when our Father is my Father, my God. Our Father is a personal God. He is your God, your Creator, your Friend, your Father, just as He is mine. He longs for personal relationship with you. It’s my prayer that you and I may have personal and special moments & memories with Him even more, as we develop relationship with Him each day. Today or tonight, we might say to Him, “You are my God!” Have a bliss! Julie Now when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” |
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